A Great Investment

It has really hit me in a fresh way: children (& grands! :-) ) are an investment! I share that because our lives were enriched in a brand, new way on October 10, 2009.

Roman Willis Weddington made his entrance 4 days early, weighing in at 8 lb 1 oz & 20.5" long. I have no problem admitting that I am one smitten Mimi!!! I told Blair today that it feels like I've always known him...i guess that's perhaps in part because some of Roman has Blair in him as well as James, and in some strange way, it does feel like only yesterday that I was delivering her & doing all the things I'm finding myself doing for her baby now.

I am currently living life overseas alongside sweet Roman with his Mommy & Daddy, and it is such a joy & a blessing! Since they live in the faraway region of the Middle East, I am incredibly thankful for even having the ability to be here. Icing on the cake is that I get to travel back to the Y country in a few weeks with them where they live & work. I am anticipating that actually seeing where they've been the last year and a half is going to have a profound affect on me.

As I've helped care for Roman the last week and a half, God has reminded me what "investment" many times looks like...and it's not necessarily things I might think of as an investment because they just look like ordinary, day-in, day-out kind of things.

Diapering, burping & walking during the wee hours of the night are alot of what I've spent my time doing. Of course, I've also kissed on him like crazy, snuggled with him, sung to him, hummed to him, held him, & rocked him....all the things we grandmothers long to do!

Being around a new baby has taken be back to early parenting days. We were sooo young when we started our family, and yet I have NO regrets!! I loved, & I mean reeeeally LOVED being a Mommy of babies. I also loved every other stage of raising them, and yes i even mean middle school too (Neal would say otherwise about himself!).

Once we arrived overseas, and we settled into life with Roman, I found taking care of him came so naturally...even after 23 years. I was kind of surprised, but I guess it's kind of like riding a bike: once you do it, you never forget. As I rocked Roman one day, I confessed to Neal there had been several moments when I realized as it was happening that I was doing & acting & responding exactly the way my Mom did with my babies. I didn't even have to think about it. It was in the way I was expressing myself to Roman, and in the way I was holding him and in the way I was humming hymns to him. I didn't work it up or say to myself, "What should I do

now?" I just did them.

All that to say: Mom, I wish I could tell you in person. So until heaven, I'll blog about it now. Thank you for investing in me, and for investing in my babies. We are all who we are in great part because of you, and I am a Mom & a Mimi who is forever thankful for your humble example of being a woman of investment.

Baseball Trumps Scouts

Haven't blogged in quite some time because quite simply, I haven't had anything to say. Wow, that sounds veeeeery wierd as I type it 'cuz I am typically one VERBOSE gal!

I continue to be in a season of experiencing many new things/changes. Alot of other things are requiring my time & brain: "Control Freaks"...the business my best friend & I started well over a year ago, but just now started moving foward with ; preparation for leaving for the Middle East to see Blair & James & our yet-to-be-born grandbaby boy, Roman! ; tieing up alot of loose ends with tasks left over from when I was so consumed with helping take care of my Mom prior to her January '09 death ; being Angela's wedding planner....those are, I suppose, the top-of-the-list things for now.

So back to today's blog. The title is strange I know. I saw something on TV this past weekend which jogged my memory about something that occurred on a Control Freaks job last week. At the time, I didn't make any spiritual connection. But the Spirit has since used it to speak to my spirit about it.

Tori & I do all kind of extra-type services in our business. Yes, we'll clean your home from top to bottom, but what we really thrive on is organizing, de-cluttering and the like. Additionally, we'll even do the dreaded task of ironing for you...all for a price, of course! Anyway, she & I were doing some ironing for our client when her children arrived home from school. As we continuned with pressing the many items she'd given us to do, the Mom, who by the way seems to be a great mother, was doing all the things a mom does when her children get home in the afternoon: asking them how their day was at school, what snack they wanted, and what the rest of the day & evening's schedule was going to be.

Here's the conversation as I recall it:

Mom: Trent, don't forget that you have ball practice tonight.

Trent: but Mom, I have Scouts...

Mom: I know sweetie, but you need to go to baseball.

Trent: So, baseball is more important than Scouts?

Mom: Participating in baseball requires that you practice. You don't practice Scouts. So baseball trumps Scouts.

I had to chuckle as I listened to their conversation as this 40 yr old Mom conversed with her 6 year old son. And I applaud her for taking the time to explain things to him in a way that he could understand. Neal & I tried to use this approach as much as possible with our children as well, so to "see" it in action in the life of another family brought back sweet memories....ok, back to the point before I go down memory lane & get myself distracted....I'm such a sentimental freak!.....

I've chewed on the concept of something "trumping" something else. My Mom, who was a big Bridge player, would use the word "trump". That's the only thought I had when pondering this word. So I looked it up online and it said in reference to cards: "-noun. cards- any playing card of a suit that for the time outranks the other suits...-verb. cards- to take with a trump. "

So the Mom, in essence, was saying to Trent, "Baseball outranks Scouts." I don't think she was saying it always does, but in this situation, at this time, it does.

Spiritually-speaking, I've been wondering about the disciplines of a godly life (for example, Bible-reading, Prayer, Bible study, Attending Church, Worship, Service...this is NOT an exhaustive list) and how they might "trump" something else (for example, sleeping, reading another book, shopping, yardwork, paying bills, the list is endless...).

As I overheard Jenna's conversation with her son, I was struck by the simplicity of the logic she used. And yet I found it to have depth as well....sort of paradoxical in a way. Simple but deep. I want to remember this simple but deep concept because I think it just might help this easily-distracted brain of mine stay on task. When faced with a decision about how to use my time wisely (and that's a BIG issue for me right now), and I'm looking at two or perhaps even more possibilities, I'll ask myself: "does this trump that?" or more to the point, "should this trump that?"

I'm amazed, considering how long I've known my Savior, at how often I'll allow other things to "trump" spending time with Him or engage in disciplines that enhance my relationship with Him. The "why" of that is something that I don't have the time to address in this blog, but He is using a wonderful Bible study called "No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern Idols" by Kelly Minter to dig down to the root. And yes, that's endorsement for the study! It's absolutely wonderful and oh so practical!

I'll end with a practical example in hopes of making this more clear if I've muddied the waters in your brain:

Today is Monday, and I very much wanted to get to the gym and exercise, but I also needed to work on my Bible study since I didn't make time to work on it this weekend. I also felt a desire and urging to blog....and I know both the Bible study & blogging would take up most of my morning. So which do I do? It's not that I should give up exercising altogether (for Trent, that would be Scouts) nor should I give up going every Monday. Starting my week at the gym is a good thing for me, BUT TODAY, Bible study & blogging "trumped" my gym workout because living the Spirit-filled life I want requires practice....aka: He uses things like Bible study, prayer & even perhaps blogging to work Spirit-filled qualities into my life. In other words, I say I want to walk in the Spirit and live in victory, but that will only happen when I'm intentional about cooperating with His Spirit and letting Him trump lesser things.

Alot to ponder for a Monday? If so, I hope it proves spiritually beneficial.

The Priority Prayer That Changed Everything

There's a book by Stormie Omartian called The Prayer That Changes Everything....I've not read it yet, but would like to do so. The prayer, however, that I'm referring to in the title of my blog is something the Lord has taken me back to in Scripture...again.

I returned to the gospel of Mark today and picked up where I left off in chapter 12. This morning I read verses 28-34 in which a scribe (those were the men who meticulously copied the scriptures by hand & were also schooled in law) asked Jesus,

"Which command is the most important of all?"

Jesus answered him,

"The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' "

For those who know about Jewish life, this particular scripture is called "The Shema". It's also recorded in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. The word "shema" is transliterated into English "hear" and means " to listen, hear with attention & interest, to understand ". According to one source I read, "The Shema expresses the essence of Jewish life, that God must be loved and obeyed at all times."

Back in the summer of 2001, I attended a women's conference. The timing of this specific conference was indeed providential because I was at an extremely low point spiritually...for alot of reasons that I won't take the time to outline. The speaker was someone I had never heard before, but I knew of her. She had written quite a few Bible studies and had a large following of people. I walked in, not really expecting anything, but God met me there in a very profound and particular way.

I can't remember what her message was about. So, you're thinking, how is it possible that God met me there in a profound way? It was through her closing prayer at the end and a dare she issued. It was an almost "off the cuff" remark or so it seemed to me. My best friend, Tori, was also there, and she doesn't remember the speaker saying this. But for me, it was as if she took a megaphone and screamed, "I dare you to ask the Lord to give you more love for Him. Do that for the next year and see what happens."

The Spirit's divinely-timed & aimed arrow pierced my heart at that moment, and my spirit cried out in an almost knee-jerk kind of response, "I'll take that dare!" because I saw in this woman something I'd never witnessed before. Even on a platform speaking before thousands, it was obvious and evident that she LOVED God with her whole being. It was the way she talked ABOUT Him, the way she talked TO Him, the JOY she exuded, the depth of understanding she had of Him and His Word. God used it all coupled with the dare she gave, and He began a brand new work in my heart.

Days turned into months as I continued to pray, "Lord, please give me more love for you." One day as I was spending time with Him, I cried out exaspperated, "Are You hearing me? Why haven't You answered my prayer?" In my spirit I heard this gentle but clear reply, "Look back." Huh? I didn't understand. "Look back over the months and see what I've been doing."

And so I did and He took me through the weeks enabling me to recall specific moments in which He'd been clearly at work in my heart as evidenced in how I had chosen to speak, react, respond, love unconditionally and on & on. I then realized all that He had been doing IN me. I was amazed and slayed in my heart. A short time later, He providentially directed me to the very scripture I'm in today and confirmed to me that the reason He was answering my prayer was because it was based upon and found in His Word!

All of the above is the easy part to share because it was such an incredible threshold for me....I had walked THROUGH a new doorway in my relationship with Him. But here I am today admitting to you and confessing to Him that I've slowly moved away from this core truth. In the busyness of life, I've become distracted and to borrow a phrase from the guy who led worship at Forest Hill this past week, "I've allowed my head to be turned by what glitters. " OUCH!!!

In the Greek, the word "important" as in "what's the most important commandment?" is "protos"....see any English word in that? Yep, PRIORITY.

I'm wondering if the scribe, the one who knew Scripture like the back of his hand, came to Jesus and essentially asked, "Jesus, how am I supposed to know what's priority? There's a ton of stuff in this book. How do I know what's the most important????" I don't know what the scribe's motive was. Often, a scribe was a Pharisee, and we know that most of them didn't like Jesus, saw Him as a threat and were always trying to trick Him with their questions. I don't know if this particular scribe was a sincere seeker or not. But let's suppse that he is. In some ways, I (and maybe you too) am like him. I've read a ton of scripture through the years. I can quote quite a bit of it too. But sometimes, knowing where to put my emphasis can become overwhelming. This speaker says this. That preacher says that. Your Sunday school teacher or your Bible study leader or small group leader or, or , or ....says something else. What's a confused Jesus follower to do?????

I hear the Spirit saying, "Go back to the HEARING"! Listen to what JESUS SAID WAS/IS "PROTOS"/PRIORITY. But remember, I nor you can love Him with all we are at all times in our own strength. It will take something supernatural, something or rather someONE striking the match in our hearts. If you're with me on this, then let's start afresh (for me again) praying and ask Him to give us more love in our hearts for Him. I dare you.

Distracted? Could mean it's time to CHANGE IT UP!

If any of you out there have been waiting for the next "Jericho" blog, sorry. Obviously, I've been very "off-line" on blogging lately. I kinda feel like the ball in one of those vintage (notice I didn't say old!) game machines (for the life of me, I can't recall what it's called....so maybe I should call it old!). If I can find a picture online, I'll attach it so you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, back to being distracted, here's the honest truth: I've been the same with my devotional time too. I can't seem to stay on task there either. It's a crazy thing because I'll go for months when I'm reading through a book of the Bible and just devouring it and gleaning so much truth and then it seems like out of the blue I'm off track and floundering to get back into a routine.

Haley & I were discussing this dilemma the other day, and she realized she had to make a major change. The pastor where we used to go to church has said many times from the pulpit, "Doing the same things the same way and expecting different results is INSANITY!" So true! Haley decided she needed a complete change in her morning routine. So she now gets up and showers, dresses, etc and heads to a nearby coffee shop to spend an hour with Jesus. She said it's been wonderful.

Guess it's time I consider what needs to change in my worn-out routine too. I've tried using an additional resource, but so far that hasn't worked either. So just as the old addage goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it.", so the converse is true, "If it IS broke, do fix it!" Maybe I need to change the location . Maybe not.

Maybe someone out there needed to hear that someone else is struggling. If so, I'm your girl today! And what I've come to learn through alot of years of walking with Jesus are 2 key things-

#1 He's oh so patient and longsuffering! And though I may be distracted from Him, He's absolutely not distracted from me! I continue to be "the apple of His eye" and amazingly, so are you! His "Godness" enables Him to focus on all of us fully without taking away from anyone. Simply amazing!

#2 A distracted external life is probably overflow from a distracted devotional life. This is certainly the case with me right now!

For those of you who are in a rut like me, take heart. He is FOR us and will place NEW thoughts and ideas in our brains so we can change it up. I've seen Him do this time and time again in my life. BUT, He wants me to recognize when this is happening, and then come to Him for His help.

For those of you who are not in a rut like me, praise the Lord!

Either way, it'd be great to hear some feedback so I and others can read what has worked and what hasn't. We NEED to learn from each other! That's part of the benefit of being connected to the body of Christ.

Ok, the light bulb just went off! It's called a pinball machine!!!! :-) Lord, You do have a sense of humor!!! And, see He can put NEW thoughts in our OLD brains!!!

The Journey to Jericho-part 1

I'm going to tell you upfront on this one, I NEED to hear back from those of you who are reading this blog & take the dare I'm going to ultimately share with you. I blog when I feel "led" to do so, but sometimes the urging is stronger than others...this is one of those strong ones, and I think I understand in part why that is......

Neal & I continue to seek the Lord about connecting with a new church home here in Charlotte where we have lived for over 25 years....we've been on that search for almost a year now. For those who don't know me/us personally, we were members at our previous church home here in Charlotte for close to 25 years. That's a long time to worship, serve, invest & connect with the body of Christ. At times, leaving there has felt like a death or a divorce for us because this fellowship had become so much a part of us. We still have some wonderful friendships & those we continue to connnect with, but we do not have a church body we call "home" yet.

Therefore, I have no group of women that I regularly meet with currently.....that's a first for me in a very, very long time. And if you're a woman, you know how important it is to connect with other women. I was always involved... leading a Bible study, many times here at my home, and for many years I hosted a monthly women's prayer group that I called "Yada". When all that was lost, a huge void was created in my life. So, with all that said/explained, pleeeeeeease consider giving me your feedback on your Jericho journey. I need to hear from others who are walking this journey with me, some way of connecting with a group of women, even if it's via online!

Now on to the heart of the blog:
Years ago, we lived in a precious little house on Country Woods Drive....way out in the country or it was when we bought it in 1983. As God blessed us with 3 little babies, all brought home from the hospital to that house, we realized it was time to either expand this home or move. We loved where we were and decided we wanted to just stay put and add on. But much to our dismay, we found out the I-485 belt loop was going to be coming right through the middle of our kitchen!

Fast forward through alot of details, heartache & stress, and all the negotiations with the State have occurred, and they have bought our home. Being the entrepreneur that he is, my Neal decided it would be a good thing for us to buy the home back from the State since they offer it back to the homeowner first at a hugely discounted price....all they are really wanting is your land to put their road through. So that's what we did, and then we had it moved further out into the country on a piece of land, invested alot of sweat equity & put it up for sale with great anticipation that skads of buyers would be pounding at our door.

Neal had done his homework, and he felt sure that we would make a good size profit. Otherwise, we would never had attempted the project in the first place. Even on the day we moved the house, he had several of those who were working on the project express to him serious interest in purchasing the house. We felt greatly encouraged that the decision we had made was a good one.

Fast forward again, and it's now a year later. We have 2 house payments because the house hasn't sold. No sooner than the house was placed on the lot we had found, the next door neighbor decided to put his "house" on his lot too. Only the "house" was a trailer, and his form of yard art was putting cars up on blocks! Not exactly what most folks want to live next door to & see across the driveway. So we waited and waited and waited some more for a buyer that did not come. The stress poured off of us onto each other like me when I exercise with my trainer at the gym!

It's hard to remember exactly how this next part of our story unfolded...I can't recall if this idea came to Neal & I independently or jointly. I think he & I had heard a sermon on Joshua 6 which the Spirit used to speak to both of our hearts. That chapter is about the Lord giving Jericho to Joshua & the children of Israel and His instructions to them about how to bring down the gigantic walls that surrounded the city.

It's probably not difficult for you to guess what happened next. Yep, we felt that God was leading us to march around the Country Woods house once for six days and would culminate on the seventh day as we marched around the house seven times, all the while making a joyful noise unto the Lord. Did I mention that we had 3 young children at this time? So, each night after supper we would get our instruments (aka pots & pans!), make the 10 or so mile trek to the house and march. Can you only imagine what the trailer neighbor was thinking as he watched this crazy family do the absurd?!

God leads us to do some strange things, doesn't He? Sometimes His plan for our lives makes great logical sense, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes what He leads us to do is painful and hard and the path is rough & filled with bumps along the way. I love the way John Piper puts it, "His burden is light and His load is easy, but the call to follow Jesus IS costly.".....that's my paraphrase, not an exact quote from him. Sometimes, obeying Jesus costs our reputation, sometimes it costs us our job or a friendship or, or, or.....you fill in the blank.

The march around the Country Woods house was a big thing for us at that time in our lives. But as we mature in our relationship & walk with Him, so do the things He requires of us. Our "Jericho" will be different today than it was in 1983. He's leading me to NEW places, higher ground so to speak. How about you?

My next blog will build upon today's, so I hope you'll stick with me and keep reading and considering and pondering what your "Jericho" is and how He might be leading you to take down the walls that's keeping you from taking that which He's given you....

Remember, He told us through Peter in 2 Peter 1:3, "His divine power has granted to us ALL things that pertain to life & godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us to his own glory and excellence."

Stella

She was Strong...
strength characterized her life in so many ways...strength of faith...strength in her mothering...strength of spirit...strength in her prayer life...strength in commitment to study God's word

She was Tall...
when you saw her, you immediately realized she was a tall woman...I recall as a little girl searching for her at church and looking for the tall, black-headed lady....but she wasn't just tall in physical stature, she was tall in her values...she taught me to always finish what I started, to do my best at each task, to be honest in all my dealings...old-fashioned but timeless values

She was an Encourager...
it was rare to see her without a smile on her face and something positive to share on her lips...all 3 of her children agree on one thing: she was our hero...for alot of reasons, but especially because she was always our greatest encourager, the one we could count on to always come alongside us and cheer us on

She was Loyal...
loyal to her Lord...loyal to her husband of 65 years...loyal to her role as mother, grandmother & greatmother...loyal to her church....loyal to her friends

She was Loving...
she demonstrated her love in so many ways that love characterized her entire life...I grew up in a home that was saturated with love...what a blessing

She was Adorable...
to her husband, to her children, to her grandchildren & great-grandchildren...as she shrank in stature because of the bone cancer, she grew in adorability...it's true- she older & sicker she became, the more adorable she was...I would look at her and see a woman with such an inner beauty that she simply oozed a radiance beyond anything that this world could duplicate.

Stella Welker Henson, adored by all her family for all these things & more!

Happy Birthday Mama! I love & miss you soooo much.

the Look of God + the Love of God = Speaking Truth by God

Read in Mark 10 today about a remarkable encounter between Jesus & a rich man. Jesus is asked by him, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" In other words, how do I become a true follower of You....by "true", I mean one who doesn't just give Jesus lip service but becomes a "doulos"...a bondslave...total surrender to the One he will follow all of his life with a bent to love Him more, obey Him more- not to earn his salvation, of course, but rather as proof of his true salvation/conversion.

Jesus' response is nothing short of profound. I love how the ESV puts it, "And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him..." I'm trying to imagine the Good Teacher looking into my eyes & feeling His love for me as He says the hard thing that I need to hear....wow. It blows me away to understand just how much He loves me/us....so much that He will say and continues to say what I/we need to hear, not necessarily what I/we want to hear. Because He looks with the eyes of El Roi (the name for Him as the God who sees), He sees all... such a small word to represent everything in me, in my heart, in my mind, in all of me! Can you imagine the discomfort that begins to rise up as you realize He can literally see all that's in you?! Discomfort is probably much too weak a word to describe the feeling....it would probably me more like what a criminal feels when he's been caught red-handed...busted...you know, the hand literally in the cookie jar kind of thing.

The next 2 words slay me, "loved him"....He sees all and yet He still loves....oh praise Him! Such a great picture of Romans 5:8, "but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Thank you Jesus!

So His look & His love required that He speak the hard word to the rich man what he needed to hear & that one word was: LACK. "You lack one thing..."

I'm so thankful for a God who always speaks truth to me. No sugar-coating. He will always tell me what I need to hear. But what about mercy? oh yes, He speaks with mercy! Were it not for His mercy, He would not have sent His only Son to die for me. His mercy goes hand in hand with "loved him".

God, make me into a doulos who looks at others with eyes stamped with eternity that sees past the superficial to their heart. I can't see like You can, but because Your Spirit lives in me, You can enable me to discern things otherwise undiscernable. Help me to love others like You do and to speak truth to them....but always with mercy and with love. For Your glory I pray, amen.

Coram Deo Living

Yesterday when I was in a funk over realizing how far away I am from my weight loss goal, I found myself being cranky and just plain pitiful. And when someone is like that, you know what happens...anyone who's nearby picks up on it.

Back the truck up for a minute: in the morning, my quiet time was spent in the Word in the gospel of Mark. The observations that I made were about Jesus' presence and what having Him present brought or produced. For example, His presence brought a calm (when He got into the boat with the disciples); His presence brought healing (when those who were sick touched the fringe of his garment); His presence brought satisfaction (when He fed the 5000 and they were "all satisfied"). It was interesting to me to note the various ways that Jesus "touched" people's lives. I also realized that as those He encountered embraced His presence, it was obvious that they recognized who He was & became very attentive to the fact that He was present and with them.

Fast-forward to the afternoon. I came home from the gym in a defeated mood. I didn't have much time before I had to leave for a dr appt. Neal came upstairs from the office, and immediately noticed I wasn't myself. When I told him why, he said these words to me, "Are you letting it come between us?" My immediate response was, "No!" He replied, "Yes, you are." To which I replied, "Well, what exactly do you mean I'm 'letting it come between us'?" He answered, "I mean you can't enjoy my presence because you are so focused on what's on your mind."

Ouch! Of all the words, Neal could have chosen, and he just had to choose "presence"! His statement was so providentially timed given what the Spirit had revealed to me that morning in His Word, that the spiritual surgery was over in seconds...see Hebrews 4:12 if you don't understand what I mean by "spiritual surgery".

My response was simply, "You're right." I had become so self-absorbed about my dumb little problem that it was preventing me from being able to focus on my husband. So when he came up to spend a few minutes with me at lunchtime, I was unable to enjoy his presence.

It's such a picture of my relationship with the Lord. The apostle Paul would put it like this in some of his letters, "I charge you IN THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD..." If my memory serves me correctly, I believe "coram deo" is the Greek rendering for that phrase. I think he said it to add weight to whatever followed...whatever he was encouraging or instructing his readers to do. He was attempting to remind them that our God is a PRESENT God, not some far-off deity as the Bette Midler song, "God is Watching Us" might suggest.

So, the deeper question is this: If being focused on my lack of meeting my weight loss goal kept me from enjoying Neal's presence, then what might I be focusing on that's keeping me from enjoying God's presence?" He IS here; He IS with me, right now. His every name, Immanuel, means "God with us". But am I enjoying Him? If not, why not? Lord, help me to be honest with You as I answer...and help me to have spiritually-tuned ears to hear what You say to my heart.

The Anticipation is Finally Over!

I found out yesterday from Blair & James that they have finally decided on a name for Baby boy Weddington. Much thought on their part has gone into the decision.

Drum roll please................................................

My first grandbaby, my grandson, will be named Roman Willis Weddington! I love it! Even more, I love the significance behind the name.

"Willis" is after my grandfather on my Dad's side. I can't wait to research more about him to let Blair & James know what kind of a man he was.

Now for the "Roman" part of the story...

My son-in-law is a man's man, but he is also one of the most tender-hearted men I know. James is the one who came up with the name "Roman". Here's the background for his choice: it was at Trevi Fountain in Rome, Italy a number of years ago that James had some very significant time with the Lord, all centered around his growing affection for Blair. Ultimately, I guess you could say it was there in Rome that his love for Blair, who's now carrying their first child, was born....the beginning birth pangs of what would eventually be a marriage made in heaven. How fitting then that James would choose "Roman" for his first child's name, a product of what began in Rome.

Roman Willis Weddington, your Mimi anticipates God to do GREAT things through you, my boy!

(Trevi Fountain photo from freefoto.com)

Why John Piper is one of our spiritual heroes!

Read the article and you'll understand why Piper is so beloved by Neal & I.

He is a humble man of God who admits when he's wrong, while at the same time demontrates a "set-apartness" that is rare.

Read & be convicted.


http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2009/4023_Why_I_Dont_Have_a_Television_and_Rarely_Go_to_Movies/

Simple Observations from Mark 6:45-52

Jesus...
* made his disciples get into the boat (without Him)
He knew the storm was coming and yet He made them get into the very vehicle that would take them to the challenging place

* went up on the mountain to pray
This reminds me that Jesus is my "great high priest", the One who is continually interceding for me as I go through the storms in my life. He doesn't send me into the hard place and abandon me. Praise the Lord!

* saw that they (the disciples) were "making headway painfully"
He is El Roi, the God WHO SEES! Another reminder that He didn't abandon the disciples...He was fully aware of their painful situation. However, He knows far better than I do what I need to learn in order to become more like Him...which includes suffering & trials & "making headway painfully". Another verse comes to mind, "He learned obedience from the things He suffered." If He did, how much more so for me?

* came to them
Praise the Lord, He still comes to us at the appropriate time. For the disciples, it was His actual physical Presence. For us, He's given us the continual indwelling of His Holy Spirit. I am thankful that He allows me to "sense" His presence at times so that I am encouraged during the hard times. However, it's interesting that this account reveals that the way He chose to come to them (by walking on the water) terrified the disciples which reminds me of times when He has "come" and scared me half to death...why? because the way He chose to reveal Himself to me was unexpected and so much BIGGER than the tiny box I had put Him into. OUCH!

* spoke to them
Hearing the voice of the Lord in the midst of the storm is such a gift.

* said- 1- take heart 2- it is I 3- do not be afraid
I love what He said to the disciples. So simple yet so profound. It needs to be simple so I can comprehend and embrace what He's saying to me when life has gotten out of control from my perspective. I can't handle complicated things and neither could the "DUH-ciples". Sherri, take heart. Sherri, It is I. Sherri, don't be afraid.

* got into the boat with them
I love it! He got involved. Jesus climbs into the boat WITH them. What a truth! The very thing He used to take them to the hard place is the very place He climbs into WITH them. He is the God who gets into the painful situations WITH us. Glory!

Their reaction as recorded in the scripture in verse 51, "utterly astounded". And sadly, I think the being astounded is not because they then understood Who He was and what He could do, but just the opposite. Because verse 52 says, "for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened."

Just before Jesus sent the disciples out to sea in the boat is when they get to SEE Jesus perform the miracle of feeding the 5000....before their very eyes! And yet, a short time later, what they SAW made no impact on the reality of their current situation. Scripture is clear why- they had hardened hearts.

I have seen and experienced God's divine faithfulness, provision & intervention countless times in my life. And yet all too often, I too react with doubt & fear. This should NOT be. I have walked with Him for many years now, and He has proved Himself over & over. Lord, do Your heart-softening work in my heart so that I might trust You MORE and especially when I find myself "making headway painfully".

My Thankfulness List

1- a husband who held things together especially during 2008 when I was virtually an absentee wife (because of children's weddings & a very sick Mom)

2- my son, Trent, who is a great husband to his wife even though he's only been married a little over a year

3- my daughter,Blair, who is persevering through alot of stress as she & her hubbie do God's work in a very faraway land

4- my daughter, Haley, who is being wise beyond her years about money matters & helped her new hubbie pay off one of his school loans...after only 9 months of marriage

5- my son-in-law, James, who is taking such good care of my daughter (who's expecting a baby boy) and brought delight to her heart by spending gads of time in every mall he could find in order to buy needed baby stuff...by himself!

6- my daughter-in-law, Ali, who adores her husband, my son! & builds him up like a godly wife should

7- my son-in-law, Lee, who makes me laugh and makes life an adventure for Haley

8- Ava, my mini-schnauzer, who is such good puppy-therapy for me!

9- our new administrative/sales assistant,Vivian, that God brought to us...clearly reminding me to be so thankful for a God who cares about the details of our lives

10- my sister who loves me kind of like a Mom does AND like a friend does AND like a sister does....she's all 3 rolled into 1!

11- for the strength that God gives for me to persevere in my areas of great weakness, bringing hope & thus the reminder that change is possible

12- for God's daily grace & peace

Another "New Beginnings" Tool

One of the new spirtiual disciplines I started practicing in 2008 was choosing a very specific (& Biblical) word/phrase for the year on which to focus. My baby daughter, Haley, is the one who got me started doing this, as she learned it from her former pastor. It has been a life-changing thing for me, not because I've suddenly become super-spiritual or even mastered a certain quality or skill in a year's time. Simply put, it has given me direction for a spiritually-proned easily distracted mind.

The longer I walk with Jesus the more I realize how many wavering opinions there are to what believers think we should be concentrating on. Because His Word has told me that I HAVE His Spirit living inside of me, I can also know that same Spirit is going to teach me the things I need to learn in order to become more faithful, more obedient, more God-glorifying and so forth.

I'm not saying that I have no need of any teaching. Nothing would be further from the truth! But, what I am saying is that far too often in years past, I've allowed others to unduly influence me regarding my spiritual walk. The operative word is , "MY"!

Same goes for YOU! You have your OWN spiritual walk with Jesus, and NO person can know for sure what He wants you to focus on except Him! The catch is figuring out what it is He wants ME or He wants YOU to focus on, right? So, I'll let you in on what I believe is a "secret" to one of God's Father-like ways He uses with us, just like I used with my children (and as always, He's going to center it around His Word because He is the Word and the Word explains Himself to us) :

Here it is: He REPEATS Himself. What do I mean? I mean that when you begin going to Him and asking Him, "Lord, what do You want me to work on this year?", He will start showing you by speaking to you the same thing or slight variations of the same thing over and over and over. You'll find yourself seeing a common thread in every scripture you read. He will bring people into your life, maybe even strangers, who just happen to "mention" a spiritual nugget that is the same thing you've been seeing in His Word. Your pastor will preach on it; or maybe your SS teacher or small group leader will talk about it.

Speaking of repeated things, ever notice how many times the gospel writers included Jesus' words, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." Jesus IS speaking, but am I, are you listenin'? Go to Him, and tell Him you want to hear Him more, and hear Him more clearly, I believe His Word teaches us that's the prayer He is eagerly waiting to answer!

p.s. don't get side-tracked by the fact that it's June and NOT the start of a new calendar year...that's definitely a distracting strategy of the defeated one! instead, think outside that calendar box! Since July is the start of the 2nd half of the year, pray over the last few weeks of June, asking Him to show you what to focus on for the rest of 2009. I'd LOVE to hear feedback from those of you who begin practicing this new discipline & hear what God's teaching you!

p.s.s. to give you a personal example of what I'm talking about: my word for 2008 was "contentment"....and for those who know me well, I know you would heartily agree, this word was indeed a challenge for me with almost more changes than I can list occuring in that year... God knew what was coming and what was ahead, so He, by design, directed me to become firmly grounded in finding contentment, no matter how rocky my circumstances became...; my word, actually, words for 2009 are "submit with joy"...I'll wait for another blog to elaborate on this one...oh yea, it's been another challenging year!

"E-Day"

What could be more exciting than 2 people making the decision to spend the rest of their lives together as husband & wife?! I would say getting engaged is 2nd only to giving your heart & life to Jesus, your 1st bridegroom. Having a baby would be #3 on my list. Having a grandbaby would tie for 3rd!

Today is a GLORIOUS day because Angela Elrod & Matt Tucker are about to get engaged...in fact, it's so close to happening that I can hardly type! What fun it's been to be "in" on the planning, and how fooled Angela is! Hooray, mission accomplished!

Angela is a very special young woman in my life because God has given me the joy and privilege of mentoring her. As time passed and we continued to meet, the Lord orchestrated that Matt and my Neal start meeting as well. Their mentoring looks alot different than mine and Ang's, but that's perfectly ok.

I have to say that I've come to realize that mentoring is much like raising children because you are intentionally investing in someone, knowing that all the time you are spending WILL reap good results. Rewarding? Absolutely! And, to be a small part of Matt & Angela's special day is just one more perk to the investment.

Mama Hopper loves you both like crazy, and I am sooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you! Let the wedding planning begin!....or should I say CONTINUE, Angela????! LOL! :-)

More Lessons on Dieing

I had a sweet time with little Nod last night before heading to bed. He was very chirpy and full of life. So, how & why in the world did he die in my hand this morning? I woke up to find him very listless. I tried and tried to get water in him. He would open his little beak some and swallow a tiny bit, but as seconds ticked away, I could literally see the life leaving him.

What did I do wrong? I thought I was being a very attentive "Mommy" to this little one, but for reasons I don't understand nor do I particularly like right now, Baby bird Nod just stopped breathing.

Ava and I took him to what is becoming our pet cemetery, where Lizzie is buried and now Nod along with his sibling that we found already dead on Saturday. And, we had another funeral. I was skyping with Blair today, and for some reason, she wanted to know if I said anything or did I just bury him. My response was, "Even in my great sadness, I simply thanked the Father that His Word tells me that He cares that this little one fell to the ground and later died, and because I know He cared about Nod, I can know that He not only cares about me, but He loves me. "

And again I am reminded by the death of Nod that God loves me....so much so that He did so unto death on a cross. I sense that for some unknown reason, I am going to need to know in the days ahead the DEPTH of God's love for me. So for now, I'll tuck this lesson in the pocket of my heart & treasure it.

A Luke 12:6-7 weekend

"Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. " Luke 12:6-7

Yesterday was a yard working day for me and Neal...all day long. It was truly wonderful to be outside, sweating and getting dirty. We both loooove working outside, and getting to spend the entire day outdoors is such a gift!

While Neal continued to put the old tin on his shed roof, I was out front raking when I saw a tiny bird in the driveway. My heart dropped as I realized he was already dead. I gently picked him up and made my way to the back yard where our precious Lizzie girl is buried. Ava (my mini-schnauzer) and I had a short, little funeral for this tiny, seemingly insignificant creature. And yes, for those of you who know what a tender heart I have for animals, I cried.

I cried not only because I was sad that this sweet little bird's life was cut short, but because His Word tells me that my BIG God cares about the small things, even about the life & death of this little bird. Matthew's gospel states it this way, (Matthew 10:29) "Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father." He not only knew & saw, but God cared that this little one fell to the ground!

As I dug the small hole and laid him in it wrapped in little leaves to keep the dirt off of him, the Spirit reminded me of the part of the verse that says, "you are MORE valuabe than many sparrows." When I stop to truly ponder what the verse is telling me, I am simply astounded at the depth of His love for someone such as myself.

As Neal and I have continued our search for a new church home, God has been gracious to remind me over and over just how much He loves me through the taking of the Lord's Supper... about 5 or 6 times now! Today, the Spirit "connected the dots" for me in this thick head of mine! Take this bread and this cup and REMEMBER! Remember that He loved me so much that He laid down His life and died for me! Thank you Jesus for taking the penalty of MY sin onto Yourself so that I could have free access to my Father God, live for Him now and spend eternity with Him after I leave this earth. And to think He used a tiny, little bird to remind me of such an enormous and tremendous truth! Amen? Amen!

P.S. Guess what ELSE my Big God did for me? Later in the afternoon yesterday, He gave me another gift. Trent found bird #2 in the driveway, but this time, this little one was still alive! Praise the Lord! So, you guessed it, we now have a precious little bird we are nursing back to health, and we've dubbed him "Nod". Oh how I love being a "mama", even to one of God's tiny little "sparrows"!

Do you have YOUR armor on?

I have a friend who is going through a heavy-duty season of "spiritual warfare". If you think that's weird or just something that doesn't happen anymore, think again! And, read 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 that says,

"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our WARFARE are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds."

There is a WAR going on. The question is, do you even care? And, are you engaged in the battle or simply on the sidelines? My admission to you is that there have been times that I have sat on the sidelines because I just didn't want to deal with the "heavy" stuff. Thankfully, my God is so patient with me! And in His sovereign-like way, He simply orchestrates my life such that I am confronted with things that stretch me.

As Neal and I have been made aware of the situation in our friend's life, the Spirit has used it to remind me of some very important spiritual skills that I need to be practicing daily. And, even though I had a godly Mom who lived this very principle out before me, I had foolishly discarded what is a fundamental & foundational skill for every believer/follower of Jesus...which is:

PUT MY SPIRITUAL ARMOR ON INTENTIONALLY & DAILY!

The way God made me aware of my neglect of this skill was through a recent conversation with my friend who had also been asked the question, "Did you put your armor on today?" To which she answered, "What do you mean? I always have my armor on?" To which the response came, "No! You must put it on daily." He then instructed her and her husband to have a specific time each morning in which together they put their armor on. As my friend and I talked, the Spirit reminded me of the passage in Ephesians 6 that outlines all the armor but even more signifcantly the words, "PUT ON..."

I've studied this passage many times, but being the "DUH-sciple" that I am, I tend to forget many important truths! And that is, "put on" is in the PRESENT tense. In other words, when Paul penned these words, the Spirit who lived in him and was doing the inspiring of the words he was penning was intentional when He prompted Paul to write "put on" which means keep on putting on. It is NOT a one time thing! So, now I have my Biblical basis for putting my armor on daily. What next, Lord?

He gave me the opportunity to have a conversation with my youngest daughter on Mother's Day as we were driving back from Atlanta to Charlotte. She was having a tough moment...well really weekend. She's newly married, and....well enough said. As she and I talked, the Spirit prompted me to issue Haley a challenge and one that I would join in with her to do. I told her I wanted her to be intentional about putting her spiritual armor on everyday for the next 30 days and I would also be doing this with her. I told her I would text message her every morning to remind her. So, since the Monday after Mother's Day, she and I have been dressing ourselves for war.

Yesterday's text to Haley that the Spirit gave me said, "Cover my Haley today, Lord, with all You have given to equip her...her S helmet; her R breastplate; her T belt; her F shield; her W sword...all to READY HER FEET TO SWIFTLY SHARE YOUR GOSPEL OF PEACE WITH THOSE YOU BRING INTO HER LIFE."

If none or very little of the above makes sense to you, maybe it's time you read or re-read Ephesians 6:10-18.

I dare you.

p.s on 31 Things I Loved About Mom

I was sharing today with a friend that I had blogged about Mom on Saturday in order to "take my thoughts captive" and how it ended up being 31 things. Her very insightful & quick reply was, " Well of course! After all, your Mom was a Proverbs 31 lady!"

Wow!

The funny part about the 31 things is, I wrote simply as memories quickly came to my mind. At 30, I thought I was finished, so I published my post and laid my head back to take a short nap. Then another memory came racing into my mind as clear as a bell. So I promptly added it and changed the number to 31. God, you are soooo good!

31 Things I Loved about Mom

I won't know until the end of this blog what number to put in the title....because there are just so many good memories of Mom...

Since it's Mother's Day weekend, and I am "home" in Atlanta spending time with my sweet Daddy, I have to be intentional about "taking my thoughts captive" & then Philippians 4:8-ing since it would be so natural to go down the sadness path....because I miss Mom so much. Instead, I want to remember the good things.

Here goes...

1) I loved how she laid out a new outfit on my bed that she bought me while I was at school..this was early on when she knew what I liked & there was no conflict in fashion tastes!

2) I loved that she planned a surprise baby shower for me in Atlanta when I was pregnant with Haley....no one expects a baby shower on their third baby!

3) I loved that she "taught" me to love coffee and loved to talk over a cup...somehow, it just seemed to make the conversation better.

4) I loved how she cooked, even on busy Sundays...there's just no aroma quite like a rump roast in the oven when you open the back door after getting home from church.

5) I loved how she took over my kitchen when she came to visit me in Charlotte, and how she always came with her famous strawberry cake & pasta salad in tow.

6) I loved how she grew to love our dogs...Kelly, Maggie, Lizzie & Ava, not because she was a dog lover because she wasn't, but because she knew her daughter was!

7) I loved how she knew when to stop and rest, even when there was still lots left to do.

8) I loved that she worked in the yard and knew how to mow the grass and even enjoyed it...this woman was not afraid of hard work!

9) I loved how she was always willing to lend a hand on WHATEVER project I had lined up for the weekend when they were visiting. She did it all!

10) I loved how we used to go shopping when my airline pilot Daddy was flying on a trip, even in the middle of the week and on a school night for me.

11) I loved how she always got up with me for school and had Morton "little donuts" and some o.j. waiting on me for breakfast.

12) I loved how she cooked everyone's favorite food on Thanksgiving & Christmas, no matter how big the family kept growing.

13) I loved how she called me her "sunshine".

14) I loved how she laughed, and that she could NEVER remember the punchline to a joke!

15) I loved that she worked the newspaper crossword puzzle everyday for as long as I can remember.

16) I loved that she enjoyed being around all kinds of people and demonstrated that in alot of ways. One of those ways- she was in 3 "bridge clubs": the neighborhood women, the Eastern women & the church couples.

17) I loved how much fun we had planning my wedding. I don't remember one single disagreement between us....we may have had one or two, but I don't remember that we did.

18) I loved that she always came to Charlotte when I had a baby and stayed the week after.

19) I loved that she taught me to love God's Word.

20) I loved that she was a stay-at-home Mom.

21) I loved that she taught young marrieds long after she was one!

22) I loved that she mentored women.

23) I loved that she surprised us all when she bought a snazzy red T-bird when she was in her 60's.

24) I loved how she said, "Thank you Jesus for the parking place" before she found it, and that she truly had a grateful heart, even for the "small" things.

25) I loved how she loved my Daddy.

26) I loved growing up, going to Grayton Beach, Florida with her and all her girlfriends every summer...I can still hear all of them "cackling" as they played bridge well after midnight.

27) I loved that she loved the beach and would get in the ocean, even though she didn't know how to swim.

28) I loved how she made me finish whatever I started...even when I wanted to quit drill team tryouts in the 10th grade, she said absolutely not for which I am so grateful....because being on drill team was undoubtedly one of the highlights of my entire 5 highschool years at Riverwood.

29) I loved that she didn't care what people thought & that she wasn't afraid to walk down the church aisle in her 30s AFTER she was a Sunday school teacher & the wife of a deacon, and say, "I need to be saved."

30) I loved how she loved me.

31) I loved that she was a great Mom, even though her Mom died when she was a baby. I loved her response when I asked her one day how she became such a good Mama...she just shrugged her shoulders & gave credit where credit was due, "The Lord taught me."

I love & miss you Mom! Happy Mother's Day in Heaven!

A New Beginning: Choose to Forgive

As I continue to grieve over the loss of my sweet Mom (she's been in heaven 4 months today), I have been greatly encouraged by a ministry called Griefshare. I receive daily emails from them that have been so helpful in the PROCESS of grieving. Today's email is about forgiveness.

It suddenly occured to me that UNforgiveness is a huge issue for many people which got me to wondering if there's someone out there who needs a "new beginning" in the area of forgiveness. I am convinced this is one of the defeated one's (satan's) most successful arenas: to keep us from forgiving and thus keep us paralyzed in our walk/relationship with Jesus. Therefore, I've simply copied & pasted today's selection because it's just too good not to share...

"Forgiveness is getting your heart right with God by making the choice to forgive others and by receiving His forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you are relieving someone of responsibility for his or her actions. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you trust that person. Forgiveness is the act of letting God's love flow through you.

Think about the above definition for a moment.

Doug Easterday says, "You're not alleviating responsibility from anyone by forgiving them. You are transferring it to where it really belongs and that's with God. They will answer to God someday, but if you're requiring them to answer to you, then you have as big a problem as they do.

'Forgiveness is obedience to God.'

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times'" (Matthew 18:21-22).

Lord, it is only by Your power that I can forgive. Keep me from destroying myself with unforgiveness. Amen."

Boasting in my weakness & Delighting in His Word- part 1

A week ago today, I shared with the women of Lakeview Baptist what God had laid on my heart over the course of several months. Their theme for the banquet, NOT chosen by me, was "New Beginnings"....this theme has been my life experience for the most part over the last year and a half and I shared w/ them close to a dozen things in which God has either orchestrated or allowed into my life forcing me to say "goodbye" and presenting me with the opportunity to have a new beginning. By the way, doing the goodbyes of life is something I really stink at!! I'm one of those who is always looking back to the past and remembering it with rose-colored glasses.

God has shown me through this process of allowing so many changes into my life how very weak I am. Years ago, when I was teaching Precept classes at my local church and sitting under the teaching (via video) of Kay Arthur, she would share an example that has stuck with me to this day, and it "fits" here...when we're jostled by challenging lifes circumstances, whatever our glass is FULL OF, will spill out the top.

Am I full of bitterness? Then, that's what comes spilling out. Am I full of fear? Then, that's what will spill out. What about being full of self?...just another name for pride. Or prejudice? The list is endless. Conversely, if I am full of joy, then that's what spills out....or peace or contentment or....you get the idea. Before you dismiss the metaphor, realize that this concept is definitely supported in scripture. So if you esteem God's word, then you need to listen:
~In Proverbs 23:7 , I'm told that, "For as a man thinks within himself, so he is."
~In Proverbs 4:23, I read, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it FLOW the springs of life.".
~Jesus spoke of this many times in scripture. One example is found in Matthew 12:34b- "For the mouth speaks out of that which FILLS the heart."

In other words, what my mind dwells on I will eventually live out.

Ok, so back to being weak. As I've been "jostled" by life (that my God is sovereign over!...He in in control of it all!), weakness is what has spilled out the top. And I'm here to tell you, coming face to face with your weaknesses is no fun. My natural instinct is to justify, give reasons, etc, etc on why I'm this or that way....or I try to compensate by focusing on my strengths. Neither is the way Jesus desires me to respond to this "unveiling". When I respond in my flesh, I "quench" the Spirit working in my heart. I put the fire out, and then I wonder why I have no power in my spiritual life....funny how I conveniently never make the connection!

About 2 months ago, in the midst of beginning preparations for speaking at Lakeview, God provided me with an opportunity to see what I believe is my greatest weakness and what I call "the ugly" in my life. What was the "opportunity"? Neal and I had a HUGE fight....can't even recall what it was about now, but it was a biggie. I know because God used it to show me "the ugly" which is my resistance to Neal's authority...something I have always struggled against since day 1 of our marriage. For years, I would say things like, "I just have a strong personality" or other equally lame comments. But, this day was different I believe because God had been tendering my heart through the study of His word. The soil was tilled and ready for seed.

Here's what I wrote the morning after the fight:

"God's grace is sufficient. Neal & I had a huge fight last night, reminding both of us once again how carnal we can be and ultimately, how we can bring out the worst in each other when we permit that carnality to take over. This is and seems to be the biggest spiritual wekaness I have in this life. When I woke up this morning, my first thoughts turned to the scripture in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 which I had meditated on yesterday...coincidence? I think not. Paul stated that God gave him a 'thorn in the flesh'. I wrote in the margin of my Bible-' the who of P's thorn: satan's harrassing messenger; they why of P's thorn: to keep him from being conceited'. Several things come to mind as I ponder over this today-
1- Neal is at times a "thorn" in my flesh because he has the power to bring out the worst in me and expose my weakness(es)
2-Even though it is Neal who is at times used as a thorn, I know that satan/the defeated one is the one who is "behind" the harrassment
3-The "thorny" messenger caused Paul's weakness(es) to become evident to him. God said that His power is perfected in weakness. So Paul's response to this was, 'Therefore, I will BOAST all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.' Not only that, but he went on to say, 'For the sake of Christ the, I am CONTENT with weaknesses...For when I am weak, then I am strong.' "

That's alot of MEAT to chew on! So, I'll stop blogging for now...more on this subject in my next blog. Stay tuned....meanwhile, why not go to the Lord and ask Him, "What am I FULL of?" I promise you, He will show you. Go ahead. I dare you.

p.s. my Neal also has the ability to bring out the BEST in me....just so you know.

"Sophronizo" (mentoring ministry)

~a Greek word found in the New Testament of the Bible in the book of Titus meaning "to admonish, to recall to ones senses." Titus 2:3-5 is a mandate for mentoring, specifically that "older" women are to teach & train "young" women.

2009 is the year God ushered my precious Mom home with Him in Heaven. Her "mantle" has been passed onto her children, grandchildren and great-grandhcildren. As one of her daughters, He has burdened my heart to carry on what she did, both intentionally & simply as a lifestyle:

~be a teacher of good...literally, a teacher of what is beautiful~

I am still praying through the details of what this ministry will "look" like...

Somehow God has used me over the last 20+ years to encourage and (sort of) mentor various women He has brought into my life...at times, I was floundering spiritually myself because I was still a young wife & Mom. By His grace, perhaps they gained something spiritually beneficial. Today, I am currently mentoring a young woman one on one that God brought into my life, and we have been meeting together weekly since last fall. It is the highlight of my week. I LOVE coming alongside women in this capacity!

Now, as I near age 50, He has given me a desire to invest in more women's lives and to share what my godly Mom taught me with other women. I don't know if there will be an age criteria...but I think probably so since Titus says the older are to teach the younger, but I want to study this more & pray about it further. As a "new beginning", I am in the process of writing the material I believe the Lord would have me to share with the women He brings.

Additionally to having one-on-one time with women, I want to have a group time (not sure on frequency but maybe once a month?) when we would meet together...this will be called "Stella Group"...in honor & memory of Mom...simply a time to encourage one another as women who are seeking to walk faithfully with Jesus and hear about success as well as failures! I believe in AUTHENTICITY!

There are still alot of gaps to be filled, but if He's in it, He will fill them!Pray & seek His guidance.And if your heart connects with wanting to know more, please contact me.

ToolBox for a New Beginning

This past Tuesday evening, I had the joy to speak to a group of sweet ladies at Lakeview Baptist in Monroe NC for their spring women's banquet. The theme for what I shared about was called "New Beginnings"....something I have become VERY familiar with over the last couple of years and even more so in 2008 & the beginning of 2009 due to the large number of significant changes in my life and in the life of my immediate family.

As a follow-up to Tuesday night, I let the women know that I would be sharing some thoughts that the Lord gives me on my blog including a "toolbox"....tools that I have found helpful for myself and for them to consider using as they seek to apply what the Spirit spoke to them about regarding having a new beginning as it relates to their greatest weakness.

I want to share 2 "tools" in this blog. I'll share more as the Lord prompts me to do so. And, I'll add a "toolbox" sidebar to my blog that lists the tools for easy reference that includes the blog date if you want to read the fuller explanation.

Tool #1:
A new Bible
This tool really only applies to you if you've had your Bible for a long time. In other words, it's well used and marked up. If that description fits you, this idea is worth considering! What I've found is that it is very easy to become too familiar with my Bible...huh, you're saying?! How can a person become too familiar with their Bible? By leaning on the notes and markings I've already written such that I no longer listen to the Spirit for a new application of a particular passage's truth.

Additionally, because spiritual growth is a process, we are (hopefully!) always changing. That means we're growing in knowledge; therefore, what we needed when we first came to know Jesus isn't the same as when we've been walking with Him for awhile and certainly not what we need as a seasoned follower of Him. In earlier days, a person may need a more readable translation, but it may be what's called a paraphrase (i.e. The Message or the Living Bible in which the writers took the original words and put them into their own words and focus heavily on making it relevant) or a "thought for thought" Bible translation (i.e NIV in which phrases are taken and translated from the original manuscripts...this also helps make it more readable for today's reader) instead of a "word for word" translation (i.e. NAS or ESV which is the most accurate since each word is translated one word at a time from the original manuscripts).

As God grows us up in Him, just as a baby moves from milk to solid food to meat, so we as believers need a change in our spiritual diet. With the age of the internet and an abundance of Christian bookstores, we all have a wealth of resources to avail ourself of...if we really want the information!

Tool #2
A classic devotional book like Streams in the Desert
by Mrs. Charles Cowman
Sometimes, we all need a little help in our quiet time (the specific time you've chosed to set aside every day to spend with the Lord reading & praying). The only exception I know personally is my husband, Neal, who is what I call a "purist"...he, for the most part, only uses his Bible for his quiet time. Always has, probably always will. He does keep our Strongs or Holman's concordance handy (I'll probably blog at some point on the benefits to using a concordance.) I agree with him that for the most part, we need to spend most of our time with "straight Bible", but I also know that a devotional can be a huge source of encouragement and growth in my spiritual life. Streams in the Desert is one of those profound books that I have read again and again, year after year, and the Spirit continues to use it to sharpen me. It is available in an updated edition in almost any bookstore, probably even a secular bookstore like Barnes & Noble or Borders. I personally love the older editions, and search for them on Ebay and in used bookstores wherever I travel because I love giving them away to people.

By the way, this devotional was my Mom's all-time favorite. A older, godly woman gave her a copy when she was a young wife & Mom, and it stayed with her Bible & all the things she used regularly for her quiet time up until the time of her departure to heaven in January of this year at the age of 83.

I love this phrase from the April 30th's selection and have been "chewing" on it all day:

"The living God is still in the heavens

and

even to delay is part of His goodness."

Wow...see what I mean about being sharpened?!

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Women of Lakeview that attended the banquet:

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share with you. I would LOVE to hear from you, and how taking the 40 day Psalm 1 challenge/dare is going and how I can pray for you. I plan to blog soon writing out a summary of what I shared so that you have that for reference...because sometimes we agree to do something and then down the road we really can forget why...I want you to have the core Biblical truths available so that the Spirit can keep that fire in your heart lit for Him!

P.S. please don't let the enemy succeed in discouraging with tempting thoughts such as "i missed a day praying & asking the Lord to give me a delight for His word, so I might as well give up." No...just pick right up again & continue on! I cannot wait to hear how He uses the next 40 days (or however long it takes you to do 40 days worth of asking!)!

Encouragement for the weary from Psalm 138:7

Every where I turn in recent days, friends & family are in great distress for a variety of reasons. The thought came to me just now as I shared the following with them that I must put these words on my blog to encourage any out there who are also struggling. May the Lord's Spirit strengthen all the weary for His glory!

" 'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou WILL revive me.' Ps. 138:7
~The Hebrew rendering of the above is “go on in the CENTER of trouble.” What descriptive words! We have called on God in the day of trouble; we have pleaded His promise of deliverance but no deliverance has been given; the enemy has continued oppressing until we were in the very thick of the fight, in the center of trouble. Why then trouble the Master any further? When Martha said, “Lord, if thou hadst been here my brother had not died.” Our Lord met her lack of hope with His further promise of, “Thy brother shall rise again.” And when we walk “in the center of trouble” and are tempted to think like Martha that the time of deliverance is past, He meets us too with a promise from His Word. “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou will revive me.” Though His answer has so long delayed, though we may still continue to “go on” in the midst of trouble, “the center of trouble” is the place where He revives, not the place where He fails us. When in the hopeless place, the continued hopeless place, is the very time when He will stretch forth His hand against the wrath of our enemies and perfect that which concerneth us, the very time when He will make the attack to cease and fail and come to an end. What occasion is there then for fainting? "

From Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman, April 23 selection

Have you learned to "meditate" Biblically? I pray so! More on that subject later........

(BTW-Streams in the Desert is my ALL TIME favorite devotional and one my godly Mom read all of her adult life; I never grow tired of it, and God has used it over and over to sharpen me! If you don't have a copy, I encourage you to get one and try to get the older edition because the more current ones have been edited for supposed clarity but I think much is lost in the editing process. Go on ebay and/or check out used bookstores. Everywhere I travel when I find a used bookstore, I look for copies so I can have them to give away!)

Homesick

A sweet friend shared the following youtube link with me a few months ago in an effort to bring a measure of comfort in the loss of my precious Mom.

For those of you reading this now who knew Jim Sikes and are hurting and missing him so, I pray this song leads you to the "Balm of Gilead", Who alone can heal our grieving hearts.

"Mercy Me - Homesick with lyrics"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doaHIOXIhH0

A Tribute to a man who could bring order out of chaos

We've only known him and his wife for about 7 years, but it seems like so much longer...i think in part because they were part of the "flock" we led at our former church home, and this group became like family to us. Something about being bound together in Christ that sticks like glue. Seven years....such a short time relative to a lifetime and certainly so relative to eternity.

Because he was a retired military guy, he used all kinds of crazy army-lingo. This simply made us love him more. He was the most disciplined person I think I've ever met....he was everything my husband isn't, and yet that fact didn't threaten my Neal nor make me think less of my husband. He was just soooooo "Jim". He was the kind of man who you knew you would want to go into a battle with you...my Neal called him one of his "mighty men" and one of his "Aarons".

Neal taught our former SS class for over 15 years, and it was bittersweet to minister like we used to as a husband and wife team...we visited with his wife this past Monday in ICU. Jim lay in the hospital bed with all kinds of things hooked up to him, Neal prayed over him one last time & confessed to the Lord, "I couldn't have done what I did without him doing what he did." And oh, how well he did what he did! He helped bring order to the chaos of two very unqualified SS leaders who stumbled and bumbled our way through ministering. We were better leaders because of him, and I believe we were a better class because of him too.

Ruthann, his wife, shared a note with me that he had placed in her new day planner than he got for her at the first of this year. It says, "To my love, I have given you my time as God alloted, and you have given me the time of my life! Love, Jim". Wow. It seems as if he knew, and yet how could he????

Colonel James Sikes, "one who brought order from chaos", you will be greatly missed!

My Stella Tree & Stella Chanticleer

Our former SS class sweetly gave me a very generous gift certificate to a greenhouse/nursery to purchase something in memory of Mom/Memama. Neal and I went to the nursery in early February, but I simply wasn’t ready to make a decision. I wanted it to be just the “right” thing. We returned a few weeks ago and found the perfect “Stella tree”…a curly willow… so unique just like Mom. It’s planted in the backyard where our “someday patio” will be. I know I’m going to enjoy seeing it grow for many years to come. And I imagine sharing much about her legacy w/ my grandbabies someday.

We also purchased a “quirky” chanticleer (aka: a rooster!) at the nursery w/ some leftover gift certificate money. Some of you may remember how Mom often referred to herself as a “tough old bird” because nothing ever seemed to get her down! Nothing ever did, not even cancer! It may have taken her physical life, but the joke is on the defeated one because “though she’s dead, she STILL speaks!” (Hebrews)! This “bird” just seemed to scream or more aptly “crow” MOM, so it has also found its place in our front yard.

Since Neal took the photo, I’ve added a sign I found on a recent treasure hunt (incidentally, the same one I bought for her a few months before she died to put outside her den window) that has the phrase that characterized her life...how appropriate that the rooster’s head is thrown back boldly crowing, “Praise the Lord!”

My James 5:16 Man

He amazes me. His perseverance in prayer slays me. Most middle -of -the-nights, he can be found on the sofa in the family room...praying...interceding...seeking the mind of his God...experiencing "yada" intimacy with Jesus.

He used to love his sleep, but he asked Him to make him more of a pray-er. He answered. Now when he is awakened for any reason, he assumes it's his wakeup call to pray. He says he's heard the Father whisper, "Come talk with me." I believe him.

I wonder what mountains have been moved, what strongholds demolished, what healing has been given, what situations resolved, what victories won as he's bowed the knee countless nights...for his children...and their spouses, for his "former flock" that he led for over 15 years as their Sunday school teacher, for his extended family, for the prodigals he's known, for his church and its leaders.....and gratefully, for his wife....THIS wife....

My Neal...my James 5:16 man.

A HUGE God "Mommy Moment"

We all talk about having a God moment, a moment in time when the God of the universe reaches down and touches us personally in some meaningful way, and it reminds us that He loves us, He is in control no matter that the circumstances are screaming otherwise and He does care about the DETAILS of our lives! Oh, how I love that about Him!!!

Last night I went to First Baptist Church-Kings Mountain with Angela, the precious young woman I'm mentoring right now. She was invited there by one of G.A. (Girls in Actions for those who weren't raised Baptist) leaders. The leader is the Mom of one of Angela's dear friends. Since this was an opportunity for a "Real Live Missionary" (aka RLM) to be in their midst, they included all of the G.A. classes to come, ranging from 1st through 6th grade. There were between 25 and 30 girls there.

Angela did a wonderful job sharing with these girls about what it takes to become an RLM: love God with all of your heart so that you can hear Him when He "calls" and then obey, be willing to try new things like living in another culture & learn a new language & finally, pray for those you are being a missionary to because without the Holy Spirit's work in a person's heartt, they cannot be open to receiving Jesus. What a blessing to hear a young woman of 26 share from her heart these Biblical insights, knowing she has already given 2 1/2 years of her life and even plans to go back overseas at some point to do more work.

It was simply amazing to sit there and realize that God would use Angela's testimony as she scattered the seed across those young, fertile hearts! Angela may never know this side of heaven what her specific impact was, but someday in Heaven or on the New Earth, I imagine that a woman or women will come up to her and say, "Hey, do you remember when you came to speak to a group of girls on March11, 2009?....."

All of the above was a big enough blessing, but God chose to pour Himself out on ME in such a profound and personal way that I could scarely take it in as it was happening. I'll explain...

On Tuesday of this week, I had a very hard morning when I was missing Blair & Haley, my 2 daughters who don't live in Charlotte. Blair is overseas serving as a "worker", and I've not seen her since October of 2008, and then, only for a few days. She and her husband James left for the N.A.M.E. region in April of 2008. Blair is expecting their first baby, my first grandbaby which makes it even harder not to have her close. I will not likely see her before October of this year, a full year or more since the last time.

Haley lives in Wilmington NC with her new husband. Although she's not terribly far away, we don't get to see one another except about every 2-3 months. For a Mama who has lived just about her entire married life raising kids, I still have moments when I'd give anything to go back in time when they were younger. I truly loved and love being a Mom!

While driving the car on Tuesday morning to do a "Control Freaks" job with my partner and best friend, I was listening to a Bebo Norman CD, and the song, "A Page is Turned" came on. I was immediately transported in my mind back to 2006 when Blair & I were planning her wedding. We were working on the music and what songs would be sung, etc. She got out her IPOD and we sat on the sofa together, her with one earplug in and me with the other.

I distinctly recall crying as I listened that day to that beautiful ballad, knowing how short my time was with her before her Daddy would walk her down that church aisle. As I listened to the song in the car, you can probably guess what happened......the tears started streaming down my cheeks. I called her on my cell on their Skype number, but didn't get her. So I left a message.

Then I called Haley, who I knew was at work, but I just wanted to hear her voice on her voicemail. And then I left her a message also, letting her know how much I love and miss her too. Thankfully, I had a very busy day planned, and the rest of my day was filled with purpose-filled work. I was so grateful. Nothing like staying busy to distract the mind!

Now, fast forward to Wednesday night at First Baptist Church- Kings Mountain. At about the middle point of Angela sharing with the G.A.s, she anticipated they would probably get antcy, so she had wisely planned for each of them to come up to the front where she would write their name in Arabic on a card that they could keep. They were thrilled!

As the girls began lining up, Julie (the mom who invited Angela) called out several names to remind them it was their turn. I was just sitting there on the back row taking it all in when I heard her call out "Blair". Because Julie has met my Blair and knew she was my daughter, she made a point to tell me, "We have a Blair too." I thought to myself, "That's really neat." And then I thought about how faithful G.A. leaders at the church we were a part of for close to 25 years had probably played a key role in preparing my Blair's heart to do the work He's called her to do alongside of James. Wow. Thanks God. You are so precious to speak to my heart. And thank you so much for those leaders!

That too would have been a big enough blessing, but that's not the end of the story. The girls continued lining up, and since there were quite a few for Angela to do, it took about 10 minutes. And then I heard Julie call out another name....but when she said it, I thought to myself, "Did she just say....surely not! I must be WANTING to hear..." So I whispered for her to come over and asked her, "Julie, what is the name of that little girl in the pink shirt in the row in front of me, the one sitting right NEXT to Blair?" She nonchalantly said, "Haley".

Does ANYONE else out there have "big hair" (my Blair's name for goosebumps, glory bumps, etc) besides me?! Oh glory! Hallelujah! In my house, we call these kinds of moments "Sigmund Hoppers"...(that will have to be for another blog), but suffice it to say this was a gigantic Sigmund Hopper for this gal, and I KNEW that I KNEW that I KNEW that MY God understood how much I was hurting the day before and missing my daughters...my Blair and my Haley. So He lovingly reached that mighty but oh so tender arm of His down to one of His daughters and simply blew her away!!!

P.S. It was the middle of the night where Blair lives, so I couldn't call her, but I did call Haley afterwards to share what had happended. She was so precious to say, "Oh Mommy, guess what color shirt I have on tonight?" Any guesses???!! "PINK!" I say GLORY & PRAISE THE LORD!

The View From Stella's Chair

Tonight I'm sitting in my Mom's chair...the one she sat in alot through the years, but especially so during her last year of life on this earth...because she really had no other choice due to the bone cancer that slowly but surely stole her life away.

I'm in Atlanta visiting with my precious Daddy...the first time "home" since Mom's death. It's been bitter-sweet to be here....bitter because I came home to the house at 5225 Vernon Springs Trail (the home I grew up in from 1965 until I got married in 1981, and the house my parents have lived in since moving to Atlanta in 1965), and SHE was not here to greet me as she had always done before...even if only from sitting in her chair near the back door. Not hearing " Hey darlin' " is another "loss"....one that I hadn't identified until Wednesday upon arriving. (Is it any wonder I use " Darlin' " as a term of endearment with my own children as well as others in my life that are precious to me?!)

I've been busy since being here...spending quality time with Daddy talking and catching up, helping him buy a new dryer, being with my Big Sis who drove in Thursday so she and I could work on sorting Mom's things. But late this afternoon, all the activity finally stopped. And so I sat in her chair and began to look around. This is what I saw:

*her PRAISE THE LORD pillow *
It sits on the sofa directly across the room. It reminds me of Mom's "Praise the Lord" mantra and how I grew up under the tutelage of a mother who didn't just have a positive outlook, but one that gave God credit in all things and during both good and hard times. It also reminds me that she invested in others because the pillow was a gift from Boo, a very dear friend and also a woman Mom mentored.

* the pillow that says "The Lord is my Strength and my Song. Exodus 15:2" *
I actually gave this to her sometime after she was diagnosed with cancer. I told her it was to be her focal point....like when a woman who's about to give birth chooses something to focus on during the pain to keep her mind centered on the purpose. It has a ribbon attached to it, so I hung it at the end of the mantle closest to her on one of the hooks that stays there and is used for stocking at Christmastime. She told me on several occasions how much it had helped her during the really pain-filled days. Jim Wood, a former pastor at her church, had stopped by one Sunday during the summer to encourage Mom and Dad. He's the one who used the childbirth analogy. I've never forgotten those insigthful words and how much Mom was strengthened by them as he reminded her to keep fighting the good fight, running the race and enduring the pain because it indeed had a purpose, just like a mother giving birth to her child. Wow.

* the cross-stitched "JESUS" sign *
It sits on top of the entertainment center. It doesn't "go" with anything as far as decor goes. But quite frankly, my Mom didn't care. I'm not saying she didn't know how to decorate her home well or that she didn't care that her home looked nice. She did, but it wasn't an obsession. She loved her Jesus, and she wasn't ashamed to let everyone who came into her house know that.

* her book stand that holds her Bible and all time favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert *
She sat in her chair every morning for as long as I can remember and spent time with her Jesus, reading His word and talking to Him. The devotional book was a gift from a godly woman she knew in Charlotte. Both her Bible and the devotional are well-worn.

To borrow a phrase from Beth Moore, her "private praise matched her public praise"...meaning, Mom didn't "act" like she was godly....she truly was because of the changes that took place each morning as she allowed God's Word to do its transforming in her heart.

Another NEW beginning as "Mimi"

"MOMMY!!!! That word seems to mean so much more to me, even now!...
I just want to talk to you and catch up even more now that the word is spreading...."

These are the words penned today by my darling Blair as she emailed me this morning.....
she who is now carrying our FIRST grandchild!

OMG!!!! The fact that I'm going to be a "Mimi" (aka grandmama) is still sinking in from hearing the news yesterday morning from Blair & James on Skype! For those who know me well, you KNOW I lived up to my crazy & passionate reputation! I screamed with DELIGHT, threw up my hands, jumped out of my chair and ran around the house hollaring like a raving maniac! James' commentary....."nice victory lap"......yes, oh yes indeed it was!

Trent's response as I roused him from a deep slumber (he & his wife Ali are living with us temporarily while they look for a house)....since he could easily determine that his Mom's screams were of a happy nature, he leaned down through the laundry chute that drops into the laundry room where Neal and I were on the pc talking to James and Blair....."What in the world?! Is Blair pregnant?" He just knew that his Mom could only be this overjoyed over something reeeeeally significant!

Could God's timing not be MORE perfect?! As I've been grieving over the profound loss of Mom the last 6 weeks, He has in His oh so God-like way & timing brought me "joy in the morning" over something NEW. Out of death, comes life! Glory!

Father, like my Neal, I am so humbled that You would choose to save me, much less keep on sanctifying me, much less bless me with a precious husband, 3 wonderful children with 3 wonderful spouses and NOW, a grandbaby! It's almost more than we can comprehend! Thank You for this blessing, for this child of Your's! May I be diligent to pray for this baby, and may he or she bring You MUCH GLORY through his or her life. You have astounded me with the demonstration of Your love as I continue to grieve and miss Mom. I can't help but believe after all I'm reading in Randy Alcorn's devotional 50 Days of Heaven that Mom not only knows that her granddaughter is expecting, but she is also doing what she always did here on earth....praising the Lord! Praise YOU Lord!