"MOMMY!!!! That word seems to mean so much more to me, even now!...
I just want to talk to you and catch up even more now that the word is spreading...."
These are the words penned today by my darling Blair as she emailed me this morning.....
she who is now carrying our FIRST grandchild!
OMG!!!! The fact that I'm going to be a "Mimi" (aka grandmama) is still sinking in from hearing the news yesterday morning from Blair & James on Skype! For those who know me well, you KNOW I lived up to my crazy & passionate reputation! I screamed with DELIGHT, threw up my hands, jumped out of my chair and ran around the house hollaring like a raving maniac! James' commentary....."nice victory lap"......yes, oh yes indeed it was!
Trent's response as I roused him from a deep slumber (he & his wife Ali are living with us temporarily while they look for a house)....since he could easily determine that his Mom's screams were of a happy nature, he leaned down through the laundry chute that drops into the laundry room where Neal and I were on the pc talking to James and Blair....."What in the world?! Is Blair pregnant?" He just knew that his Mom could only be this overjoyed over something reeeeeally significant!
Could God's timing not be MORE perfect?! As I've been grieving over the profound loss of Mom the last 6 weeks, He has in His oh so God-like way & timing brought me "joy in the morning" over something NEW. Out of death, comes life! Glory!
Father, like my Neal, I am so humbled that You would choose to save me, much less keep on sanctifying me, much less bless me with a precious husband, 3 wonderful children with 3 wonderful spouses and NOW, a grandbaby! It's almost more than we can comprehend! Thank You for this blessing, for this child of Your's! May I be diligent to pray for this baby, and may he or she bring You MUCH GLORY through his or her life. You have astounded me with the demonstration of Your love as I continue to grieve and miss Mom. I can't help but believe after all I'm reading in Randy Alcorn's devotional 50 Days of Heaven that Mom not only knows that her granddaughter is expecting, but she is also doing what she always did here on earth....praising the Lord! Praise YOU Lord!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Weekend Gleanings from Hebrews 11
PRESENT & ACTIVE FAITH…
THAT IS:
PRESENT & ACTIVE "ASSURANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR" &
THE PRESENT & ACTIVE "CONVICTION OF THINGS NOT SEEN" (Heb. 11:1)….
AS SEEN FROM HEBREWS Chapter 11…
WHAT FAITH CAN PRODUCE (look like in my life) AT VARIOUS TIMES & SEASONS IN MY LIFE PRODUCED BY HIM BUT REQUIRES MY PARTICIPATION-
FAITH UNDERSTANDS, V3
FAITH OFFERS, V4
FAITH SPEAKS, V4
FAITH TAKES US UP, V5
FAITH PLEASES (GOD), V6
FAITH CONSTRUCTS, V7
FAITH OBEYS, V8
FAITH GOES, V9
FAITH LOOKS FORWARD, V10
FAITH BRINGS POWER, V11
FAITH CONSIDERS (HIM FAITHFUL), V11
FAITH SEES & GREETS (FROM AFAR), V13
FAITH ACKNOWLEDGES (EXILESHIP FROM THIS EARTH), V13
FAITH SEEKS (A HOMELAND), V14
FAITH DESIRES (A BETTER COUNTRY, A HEAVENLY ONE), V 16
FAITH OFFERS UP (OUR ISSACS), V 17
FAITH ACTS (BASED ON GOD’S CHARACTER), V19
FAITH INVOKES (FUTURE BLESSINGS), V20,21
FAITH INSTRUCTS, V22
FAITH DOES THE RISKY, V23
FAITH REFUSES, V24
FAITH MAKES CHOICES, V25
FAITH CONSIDERS (REPROACH AS A REWARD), V26
FAITH LEAVES (Egypt), V27
FAITH ENDURES, V27
FAITH SEES (THE GOD WHO IS INVISIBLE), V27
FAITH KEEPS, V28
FAITH CROSSES OVER (OUR RED SEAS), V29
FAITH MARCHES & SHOUTS, V30 (see also Joshua 6)
FAITH GIVES, V31
FAITH CONQUERS (KINGDOMS), V33
FAITH ENFORCES (JUSTICE), V33
FAITH OBTAINS (PROMISES), V33
FAITH STOPS (THE LIONS’ MOUTHS), V33
FAITH QUENCHES (THE POWER OF FIRE), V34
FAITH ESCAPES (THE EDGE OF THE SWORD), V34
FAITH MAKES STRONG (OUT OF WEAKNESS), V 34…..GLORY!
FAITH BECOMES MIGHTY (IN WAR), V34
FAITH PUTS TO FLIGHT (FOREIGN ARMIES), V34
FAITH INCLUDES (SUFFERING), V35-38
FAITH REFUSES (THE SHORT TERM RELIEF IN ORDER TO BE RAISED AGAIN TO A BETTER LIFE!) V 35
THAT IS:
PRESENT & ACTIVE "ASSURANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR" &
THE PRESENT & ACTIVE "CONVICTION OF THINGS NOT SEEN" (Heb. 11:1)….
AS SEEN FROM HEBREWS Chapter 11…
WHAT FAITH CAN PRODUCE (look like in my life) AT VARIOUS TIMES & SEASONS IN MY LIFE PRODUCED BY HIM BUT REQUIRES MY PARTICIPATION-
FAITH UNDERSTANDS, V3
FAITH OFFERS, V4
FAITH SPEAKS, V4
FAITH TAKES US UP, V5
FAITH PLEASES (GOD), V6
FAITH CONSTRUCTS, V7
FAITH OBEYS, V8
FAITH GOES, V9
FAITH LOOKS FORWARD, V10
FAITH BRINGS POWER, V11
FAITH CONSIDERS (HIM FAITHFUL), V11
FAITH SEES & GREETS (FROM AFAR), V13
FAITH ACKNOWLEDGES (EXILESHIP FROM THIS EARTH), V13
FAITH SEEKS (A HOMELAND), V14
FAITH DESIRES (A BETTER COUNTRY, A HEAVENLY ONE), V 16
FAITH OFFERS UP (OUR ISSACS), V 17
FAITH ACTS (BASED ON GOD’S CHARACTER), V19
FAITH INVOKES (FUTURE BLESSINGS), V20,21
FAITH INSTRUCTS, V22
FAITH DOES THE RISKY, V23
FAITH REFUSES, V24
FAITH MAKES CHOICES, V25
FAITH CONSIDERS (REPROACH AS A REWARD), V26
FAITH LEAVES (Egypt), V27
FAITH ENDURES, V27
FAITH SEES (THE GOD WHO IS INVISIBLE), V27
FAITH KEEPS, V28
FAITH CROSSES OVER (OUR RED SEAS), V29
FAITH MARCHES & SHOUTS, V30 (see also Joshua 6)
FAITH GIVES, V31
FAITH CONQUERS (KINGDOMS), V33
FAITH ENFORCES (JUSTICE), V33
FAITH OBTAINS (PROMISES), V33
FAITH STOPS (THE LIONS’ MOUTHS), V33
FAITH QUENCHES (THE POWER OF FIRE), V34
FAITH ESCAPES (THE EDGE OF THE SWORD), V34
FAITH MAKES STRONG (OUT OF WEAKNESS), V 34…..GLORY!
FAITH BECOMES MIGHTY (IN WAR), V34
FAITH PUTS TO FLIGHT (FOREIGN ARMIES), V34
FAITH INCLUDES (SUFFERING), V35-38
FAITH REFUSES (THE SHORT TERM RELIEF IN ORDER TO BE RAISED AGAIN TO A BETTER LIFE!) V 35
Monday, February 9, 2009
Stella Therapy
I NEED to keep talking about Mom. I now understand why grief support groups can be so helpful.....those of us who are grieving cannot just "move on", not without working THROUGH our grief. And so I blog....
February 7th (a month to the day that she went home to Jesus) came & went, and I had hoped to accomplish something "significant" in memory of Mom...something to make her proud...although proud is not the word she would want me to use because she believed and taught me that pride, any pride, is relying on self instead of God....so let me say that I simply wanted to her to be "pleased" & "blessed".....
Neal & I went to a nursery/greenhouse to look at plants & trees & such on Saturday, and it was so good to be outside in the sunshine....oh, how Mom loved to be outside and loved the sunshine. Each day in her journal, she started out with a notation about the weather giving the temperature and whether it was sunny, clear, cloudy, etc....such a funny thing to me that she would notice and write this information down. But then again, it makes perfect sense to me now that I look back and remember how much of her time was simply spent sitting in her chair as she looked out her sliding glass doors every day because she could do little else, given the advancement of the bone cancer.
Have I mentioned that Mom was once a very tall woman? She was about 5'9" originally. She'd shrunk a little over the last 10 or so years due to osteoperosis, but nothing like what happened when the cancer took over. We received a mailed report from her primary care doctor after she died, and it showed that she was only 5' the last time he saw her.....astounding that cancer can steal so much from you physically! Praise God, it didn't steal her joy or her peace or her faith or her "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" attitude!
So, what did I end up doing on Saturday? Not much, except for having a gloriously, stress-free day with my Neal doing a few errands together. It was late afternoon when we finally got back home, but I wanted to plant some pansies & stonecrop perennials around the mailbox....the sun was already going down, but I just wanted to get my hands in the dirt. So, I took my spade and cleaned out the old to make room for the new and got alot of good, rich dirt under my fingernails....I just don't like to wear gloves when I'm planting...too constricting.
The evening was so lovely, I didn't want to go inside even though it was starting to get cool. I shouldn't have stayed out so long because I've been sick, but I longed to spend a little quiet time thinking about Mom. So I made my way to the bench under the big oak tree in our front yard and sat down. The moon was almost full and unbelieveably bright & beautiful. I just couldn't quit looking at it nor stop thinking about "here" is not where she is anymore and trying to comprehend just "where" it is that she is...yes, I know that she's in heaven, but exactly where is heaven located...yes, I know in the heavenlies, but again alot of what we say is so vague....bear with me as I simply wonder about all these things.....
And, as I sat there pondering, I recalled how she would do this funny little game when I was young, mostly when we traveled in the car, about the moon.....she'd say, "the moon, the moon, the big round moon, two eyes, a nose and a mouth" and as she said the words, she would trace in the air with her finger. And, as I reminisced about that, I could have sworn that I saw a faint outline of Mom's face there in the "face" of the moon.....it probably wasn't there, and was only something I wanted to see, but it made me grin just the same. And as I sat there enjoying the glorious night that God had provided. that's when I realized I was probably doing exactly what would have brought pleasure to Mom (or maybe it actually did?!)...I took the time to be awed by my God, as Creator, & His magnificent handiwork. Yea, I think if Mom had been in Charlotte visiting, she'd have been sitting right beside me , enJOYing it all as much as me.
February 7th (a month to the day that she went home to Jesus) came & went, and I had hoped to accomplish something "significant" in memory of Mom...something to make her proud...although proud is not the word she would want me to use because she believed and taught me that pride, any pride, is relying on self instead of God....so let me say that I simply wanted to her to be "pleased" & "blessed".....
Neal & I went to a nursery/greenhouse to look at plants & trees & such on Saturday, and it was so good to be outside in the sunshine....oh, how Mom loved to be outside and loved the sunshine. Each day in her journal, she started out with a notation about the weather giving the temperature and whether it was sunny, clear, cloudy, etc....such a funny thing to me that she would notice and write this information down. But then again, it makes perfect sense to me now that I look back and remember how much of her time was simply spent sitting in her chair as she looked out her sliding glass doors every day because she could do little else, given the advancement of the bone cancer.
Have I mentioned that Mom was once a very tall woman? She was about 5'9" originally. She'd shrunk a little over the last 10 or so years due to osteoperosis, but nothing like what happened when the cancer took over. We received a mailed report from her primary care doctor after she died, and it showed that she was only 5' the last time he saw her.....astounding that cancer can steal so much from you physically! Praise God, it didn't steal her joy or her peace or her faith or her "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" attitude!
So, what did I end up doing on Saturday? Not much, except for having a gloriously, stress-free day with my Neal doing a few errands together. It was late afternoon when we finally got back home, but I wanted to plant some pansies & stonecrop perennials around the mailbox....the sun was already going down, but I just wanted to get my hands in the dirt. So, I took my spade and cleaned out the old to make room for the new and got alot of good, rich dirt under my fingernails....I just don't like to wear gloves when I'm planting...too constricting.
The evening was so lovely, I didn't want to go inside even though it was starting to get cool. I shouldn't have stayed out so long because I've been sick, but I longed to spend a little quiet time thinking about Mom. So I made my way to the bench under the big oak tree in our front yard and sat down. The moon was almost full and unbelieveably bright & beautiful. I just couldn't quit looking at it nor stop thinking about "here" is not where she is anymore and trying to comprehend just "where" it is that she is...yes, I know that she's in heaven, but exactly where is heaven located...yes, I know in the heavenlies, but again alot of what we say is so vague....bear with me as I simply wonder about all these things.....
And, as I sat there pondering, I recalled how she would do this funny little game when I was young, mostly when we traveled in the car, about the moon.....she'd say, "the moon, the moon, the big round moon, two eyes, a nose and a mouth" and as she said the words, she would trace in the air with her finger. And, as I reminisced about that, I could have sworn that I saw a faint outline of Mom's face there in the "face" of the moon.....it probably wasn't there, and was only something I wanted to see, but it made me grin just the same. And as I sat there enjoying the glorious night that God had provided. that's when I realized I was probably doing exactly what would have brought pleasure to Mom (or maybe it actually did?!)...I took the time to be awed by my God, as Creator, & His magnificent handiwork. Yea, I think if Mom had been in Charlotte visiting, she'd have been sitting right beside me , enJOYing it all as much as me.
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