She's been home in heaven 3 weeks today, and I still can't fully grasp or comprehend Mom's death. Grief is a completely new experience for me, and it is TOTALLY consuming. Monday, I came to unexpectedly realize that she's not here anymore as my daily & faithful intercessor- the one who I KNEW prayed everyday for me....what a HUGE loss this is to me!
I recall thinking during her last days at hospice, "the prayer warrior is now being prayed for"- oh, how Mom prayed for others!......God, will I EVER be able to pray like her, given how much I'm hurting right now?! Today, I don't think so, but perhaps one "tomorrow" a long, long way off I will believe differently.
"The death of a loved one is a mortal wound, difficult to grasp and impossible to understand. It is UNASKED for, UNPLANNED for, and UNWANTED....Because of the depth of the wound, even one's own self becomes unfamiliar. Time assumes a different meaning, and nothing that was once important matters any longer....Grief knows no time limits....No two wounds are identical, so the healing rates will differ. Each person's emotional bandage is unique."
From When Will I Stop Hurting" by June Cerza Kolf
How to Help a Child Pray
1 day ago
1 comment:
Hard journey, for sure. The moments of realization, of the total loss of someone's presence in yourlife, like your realization that a strong prayer warrior for you is not here, can knock you off your (emotional) feet. These things are just a reflection of the depth of love.
It is true, that your perspective changes on things...and things that seemed so important before are not now.Sometimes that is a good thing..puts things in a perspective that helps us love and be there for those that are with us now, because the fleeing feet of time and age have become oh so real to us now.
It's ok to cry.
It's ok to want solitude for a short while.
It's ok to want her back.
It's ok to feel like a little girl who wants her mom .
It's ok to miss your mom.
It's ok not to be strong.
It's ok to feel.
It's ok to remember.
Just talk to our "Daddy". He understands. He is the only one who totally understands our loss, our pain, because only He knows our heart.
He has the words, He has the touch, that will help and will heal.
He loves you.
I do too.
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