Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Goodbye is a necessary life skill....that I lack!

I heard the quote that "goodbye is a necessary life skill" while returning from Wilmington to Charlotte the day after our youngest daughter, Haley, got married to Lee. I was listening to Beth Moore on CD which was just after having an emotional meltdown. It's amazing how fast those things can come on you!.....sort of like a tidal wave. One minute I felt ok, and the next I found myself in a puddle of tears wanting it (the wedding, Blair & James being home, etc) all NOT to be over.

It was so providential that I heard this particular truth at this particular time in my life becasuse this year has been absolutely FULL of goodbyes for me, and from my perspective almost more than I could handle....but the Spirit has reminded me that if I believe that, then I think that God has given me more than I can bear which scripture clearly teaches that He doesn't.

Still, 2008 has definitely had more goodbyes and more changes than any other year in my entire life. And it occurred to me that if I stink at goodbyes and want to hold onto my yesterdays, that I'm ultimately saying in my heart that Jeremiah 29:11 doesn't apply to me.....you know the verse about how God wants us to have a hope and a future. So often quoted, but I wonder how often really embraced. I know it's very hard for me to do so when I'm so enjoying the season I'm currently in. I just get soooo comfortable, and I sure love my comfort!

I guess that's been my problem really since Haley went off to college over 4 years ago....that was the beginning of the end of a season of a kind of mothering I've grown very accustomed to and very much enjoyed and drew great satisfaction from. Her getting married was like the click on the lock of the door. It's not that I'm not still a mom; it's just that my role as Mom to married adult children is very different. Nurturing is my "thing", but I think it's time to find a new way to channel that for God's glory, and I know in time that He will reveal what He desires the next season to be all about.

The bottom line seems to be not letting myself be ruled by my emotions and how I feel, but rather walking according to the truth I know from His word about Him and how much He truly desires that growing yada intimacy with me. Like my Neal, who is so excited to have his wife back after 25 years of being both fulltime Mom & wife, I'm wondering if the Lord might be a little excited too over the fact that one of His beloved is a little less distracted so she can be a little more focused on the lover of her soul.

1 comment:

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

you are the best - miss you so!! Love, Leigh