PurposeFULL Days

Ever have a span of time when you just feel more purposeful? The last week or so has been like that for me, and I've been wondering about why that is. So, I've recounted what I've done lately that's DIFFERENT than other weeks....

Last Thursday night, I spent time with a young single woman who needs encouragement in her relationship with Jesus. She's just spent the last 2 1/2 years overseas for the sole purpose of sharing the gospel, and now that she's "home" or really more accurately, state-side, she's struggling to transition back to American life. She's like another daughter to me, so it was my joy to just hang out with her and drink coffee at Caribou and catch up with her.

On Monday night, I spent the evening listening to & sharing with other women who are seeking, like me, to intentionally walk with God and do so authentically. We shared a meal together and encouraged one another.

Today, I met the same young woman from last Thursday for an early lunch to share more time together. God seems to be unfolding a new opportunity for us to spend regular time together. She thinks it's me investing in her, and I am doing that, but she's giving me far more than she realizes! (see previous 3 blogs to understand!) It was such an encouraging time to hear her heart as she shared about what's going on...in her relationships, in her church life, in her work life....nothing is out of bounds. I so love spending time with people who don't have it altogether spiritually-speaking, BUT they have a true desire to want to have God in the CENTER of it all.

So, what's different? People, not things, People, not stuff. People, not tasks. People, not me, me, me. I've never really thought of myself as a "people person" because deep down, I have a very quiet and shy side and have had to really work at being something other than that. I love having "me" time, being alone reading, just puttering around my house, shopping by myself, gardening by myself,.....it does not bother me in the least to be by myself.

However, although being alone is my natural preference, I'm realizing it doesn't completely satisfy the inner woman in me because God has made me to invest in others. Like the apostle Paul, I want to be "poured out" into others. So....it's not so much what I've DONE that's made the difference; it's WHO I've been with....

As I write, I'm reminded to glance over at a quote that I keep at my desk here in front of me. It seems to really fit with these thoughts. My youngest daughter, Haley, spent a summer in Bolivia doing mission work several years ago. The president of S.A.M., the ministry that sent her, made a statement to her and the others who had spent their summer doing the same thing all over the world upon their return as they were "de-briefed". It impacted me then when she shared it with me, and it continues to penetrate as I try to figure out how God would have me NOT waste my life in this last phase without children to raise.

Here's the quote:
"REAL ministry is getting close enough to people to show them how Christ can impact every area of their lives." Bill Ogden, S.A.M. president

Oh, did I mention that Haley lived in a Bolivian home with a single Mom and her daughter? She ate with them, she slept in their house, she helped them with their business.....all because she wanted to get close enough to show them how Jesus can impact EVERY area of their life.

Acting as if "then" is "now"...changing sheets for nobody

I finally got around to getting the sheets washed & dried for all the upstairs bedrooms...which we have 3 of.....rooms that used to be full of activity, messiness and all the things that come with having kids in your house! The sheets for Trent's room had been washed & dried for weeks and laying on a chair waiting to be put back on his twin beds. Both girls' rooms have had people sleeping in them in the not-so-distant past; thus, the sheets needed to be laundered. However, I wasn't in any real rush to get it done nor to put them back on.....why? because as far as I know, none of the children will be coming home any time soon and no guests are coming any time soon either.

As I walked upstairs today, I figured I'd just throw the girls sheets on their beds, but make them up another day. Suddenly, I found myself laying across Blair's bed and once again reminiscing about days gone by that just seem to have disappeared like a vapor. Wow, the tidal wave was about to hit again, but this time, I didn't have the meltdown....although a melancholy spirit was lurking very nearby. Instead, I hoisted myself up quickly to make Blair's bed, walked to Haley's room to do the same and then finally to Trent's room.

I realized that much of my lack of motivation to get those sheets on the bed is simply because I'm not expecting anyone.......the operative word is "expecting"! Why am I not expecting anyone? Because no one has informed me that they are coming.

Hmmm.....there I go again trying to act as if I'm the one in control of my life when I know better! How do I know that the Lord won't send someone soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week to my doorstep in need of a place to sleep or stay? How do I know that He won't open a door for ministry that would require those rooms to be READY? That's just it; I don't.

Making those beds today was my small step of obedient faith, and I've realized in essence that I am saying in my spirit that I will "act as if then is now"! Providentially, I heard that phrase (boy does He have me hearing stuff lately right when I need it!) last Sunday at a new church that Neal & I were visiting. I pondered it at the time, wrote it down and even said to myself, " I think that's significant." I'm so glad that the Spirit is the One who brings to our remembrance truths that we need at just the right time in order to be strengthened & walk in obedience. I will intentionally act as if my "then" (which is me imagining having a full house of.....whatever or whoever God provides in His time in His way for His purposes) is my "now" and keep my eyes & ears open for new opportunities to use those ready rooms!

Thanks Lord for turning today's tidal wave into something worth remembering.

Goodbye is a necessary life skill....that I lack!

I heard the quote that "goodbye is a necessary life skill" while returning from Wilmington to Charlotte the day after our youngest daughter, Haley, got married to Lee. I was listening to Beth Moore on CD which was just after having an emotional meltdown. It's amazing how fast those things can come on you!.....sort of like a tidal wave. One minute I felt ok, and the next I found myself in a puddle of tears wanting it (the wedding, Blair & James being home, etc) all NOT to be over.

It was so providential that I heard this particular truth at this particular time in my life becasuse this year has been absolutely FULL of goodbyes for me, and from my perspective almost more than I could handle....but the Spirit has reminded me that if I believe that, then I think that God has given me more than I can bear which scripture clearly teaches that He doesn't.

Still, 2008 has definitely had more goodbyes and more changes than any other year in my entire life. And it occurred to me that if I stink at goodbyes and want to hold onto my yesterdays, that I'm ultimately saying in my heart that Jeremiah 29:11 doesn't apply to me.....you know the verse about how God wants us to have a hope and a future. So often quoted, but I wonder how often really embraced. I know it's very hard for me to do so when I'm so enjoying the season I'm currently in. I just get soooo comfortable, and I sure love my comfort!

I guess that's been my problem really since Haley went off to college over 4 years ago....that was the beginning of the end of a season of a kind of mothering I've grown very accustomed to and very much enjoyed and drew great satisfaction from. Her getting married was like the click on the lock of the door. It's not that I'm not still a mom; it's just that my role as Mom to married adult children is very different. Nurturing is my "thing", but I think it's time to find a new way to channel that for God's glory, and I know in time that He will reveal what He desires the next season to be all about.

The bottom line seems to be not letting myself be ruled by my emotions and how I feel, but rather walking according to the truth I know from His word about Him and how much He truly desires that growing yada intimacy with me. Like my Neal, who is so excited to have his wife back after 25 years of being both fulltime Mom & wife, I'm wondering if the Lord might be a little excited too over the fact that one of His beloved is a little less distracted so she can be a little more focused on the lover of her soul.

All because Blair told me to....

This is my first "blog attempt".....my daughter, Blair who's close to being 24, said to me recently, "Mom, you need to start blogging." Hmmmm. For some reason, this 2nd child of mine seems to have a power over me that's almost mystical. Must be a "middle child" thing! Blair, if you're reading this, then realize that there's finally some perks to being the middle c! You have power over me, the Mama!

She's serving overseas telling others about Jesus alongside her husband of 2 1/2 years. And ever since she left 5 loooong months ago, it's like whatever she says I need to do I really consider and somehow end up doing it! I don't know if it's the Mama in me wanting to do something for her because she's done something radical with her life or what.....

For example, she told me I needed to let my hair grow out.....no big deal, right? It would be except for the fact that I've kept my hair short-short (no other person on the face of the planet could wear their hair this short because they'd look bald; however, I have been blessed with 5 times the average person! It's sooo thick, every hair dresser who's ever cut my hair says I have the whitest scalp they've ever seen all because the sun can't get to it!). So Blair said grow my hair out; therefore, last December just before Christmas, I got my last short-short haircut and have been going through the painstaking process of letting it grow out. What an ordeal! Oh, I'm liking it now, but not so much through the process.

Another example is that she told me a few days before she & James left that I needed to start the business I've always wanted to do, and by the time she came back for her sister, Haley's wedding (which just happened on Oct. 4th btw), I'd better have done it. And guess what? Yep, I did what she said and have taken a meager stab at starting a new business with my best friend, Tori. It's been "on hold" temporarily, but we plan to get back on board soon.

Starting a blog is the most current example, and it's pretty obvious that I've complied with her suggestion once again! Which has gotten me to pondering something about the Lord... but first, why the name "yada-mama"?

The reason is 2 fold:
I, by no means, have a corner on the word "yada", but I do consider it "mine" for alot of reasons. I've lost count on how many years ago that God did a new work in my heart that centered around the concept of "yada". But as my hubbie likes to say, here's the "reader's digest" version-

One of my favorite scriptures in the old testament of the Bible is Proverbs 3:5-6 that says,
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

As I was reading and studying those verses one day, it occured to me to look up the word "acknowledge" in my Strong's concordance because I couldn't seem to wrap my brain around what it really meant to acknowledge Him in all my ways. What I learned then is what has been affecting me ever since. In the Hebrew language, the word for "acknowledge" as well as "know" is "yada", and it means to know INTIMATELY. When I took the definition and plugged it back into the verse, it was as if God had struck a match in my heart! Probably more on that subject later, but suffice it to say that I've been on a "yada" quest ever since. I have a piece of pottery that I painted up in my prayer room that says "Yada Him"; the license tag on my car says, "Yada"; and all you conservative folks out there, hold on, I even have a tattoo on my right ankle that says, "Yada".....probably a mid-life thing, but I tend to lean toward the fact that it's a "God-thing" and makes for great conversation starters with all kinds of people!

The "mama" part of the blog name is simply because "mama" is who I am and what I've been for almost my entire married life. Trent, my oldest, just turned 25. I've been married 27 years. Being "mama" is what I've known and done the longest of anything since being an adult besides being a wife. And now in my 50th year (no I'm not 50 yet, but Neal reminds me frequently that I am living in my 50th year!), all 3 of my babies are grown & married and I'm scratching my head and saying, "Now, what?" It's so raw and fresh because my baby, Haley, who just turned 22 got married 2 weekends ago, and 8 months of intense but glorious wedding planning is now over! What's a mama to do with herself? I guess time will tell.......

Back to what I've been pondering over about the Lord.....what if I started considering the Lord's "suggestions" like I've been considering my Blair's? Hmmmmm and ouch. She says, "Mom, I think....." and I'm on it. But what about when the Spirit prompts? Wish I could say yes, but I don't think I can......next thought......how come? What drives me to "do" for Blair?....that's easy. My love for her! Man, I love that girl soooo much as well as her hubbie, James as well as Trent (and Ali, my "new" daughter!) and Haley (and Lee, my "new" son!). Tori laughs at me all the time because I'm so ridiculous about how much I do for my kids. I'll do just about anything for them because God has placed an "I love you like crazy" kind of love in my heart for them!

Well, that brings me full circle to "yada"all over again. When I KNOW the Lord, really YADA KNOW Him, like He wants & deserves to be known by me, then I can't help but be crazy in love with Him and therein lies the secret to wanting to "do" for him, just like I've done for Blair.

There's another great old testament verse that says, "I delight to do your will O my God; your law (word) is my heart." The Spirit has been bringing that to my mind alot lately, and I think it's because He's wanting to remind me that doing for Him can and should be my delight, and the path to that delight is through His word which is where He taught me all about yada-ing Him in the first place.

Seeking afresh to Yada Him!