The Day the Music Died

Recorded and released on the American Pie album in 1971, the single was a number-one U.S. hit for four weeks in 1972. A re-release in 1991 did not chart in the U.S., but reached number 12 in the UK. The song is an abstract story surrounding "The Day the Music Died" — the 1959 plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper (Jiles Perry Richardson, Jr.), as well as the pilot, Roger Peterson. The importance of "American Pie" to America's musical and cultural heritage was recognized by the Songs of the Century education project which listed the song as the number five song of the twentieth century. (taken from Wikipedia)

As I sat down to blog today, "the day the music died" is what came into my mind. I grew up in the 70's and ironically was born the same year these famous musicians died...1959.

Today is a day of deep significance to me personally and to that of my family because 1 year ago Mom went home to heaven. She is, of course, better off, but we are still grieving over our profound loss. The loss is huge to me, and in some ways, I'm just now recognizing many of those specific losses. I guess that's how grief works...it's a process, and stages have to be moved through. There's no rushing it or slowing it down. One year ago today is the day some of the music in my life died because Mom in so many ways brought a very sweet melody to my life.

Grief comes to each of us on its own terms, and it's taken me a full year to realize in part why God gave me the hands that I have...

Mom's hands were not petite nor were they particularly "pretty", but I can recall as a little girl sitting in church looking at them and the rings she wore on them. I would trace the lines with my finger in the palms of her hands, pull her rings on and off and simply study her hands. I don't know why I did it, but now at 50 and with her gone, I am thankful for the clear picture of her hands that is etched in my memory.

As I wrote an email earlier today to my precious daughter who lives 8000 miles away from me and shared with her a little of what I'm feeling today, I looked down at my hands as I typed and realized that I have Stella's hands. And until today, I've almost loathed them because they were large with big knuckles that require me to have rings sized like that of a man (I think the big knucles come from my Dad!). Because her hands and my hands are similarly sized, the ring I inherited from her that's called a mother's ring fit perfectly. I'm wearing it on my right ring finger,today and it looks........well, I almost said "eerily" but instead I'll comfortingly (is that even a word?) like her's.

As I wrote to Blair today, I also realized how thankful I am that those big hands of Mom's were the STRONG hands that ministered to me and many others in countless ways!

-She cooked with those hands. How many thousands of meals did she prepare for her family, sick friends, greiving friends, new neighbors, church potluck dinners, etc, etc. etc???
-She wrote with those hands. How many thousands of letters and encouragement cards and sympathy cards did she write? Her handwriting was never pretty, but she wrote anyway and always filling her letters and notes with scripture. I don't think I EVER got anything from her that didn't have a specific scripture written in it.
-She comforted with those hands. How many times did she wipe away my tears and cup my face when I was discouraged? How many times did I see her take the hands of another person and say, "Let me pray for you right now." and watch her pray?
-She pointed with those hands. She didn't point with accusation nor did she point judgmentally. She pointed, metaphorically, to Jesus because her hands were always busy doing the work of the Father. She never wanted to take any of His glory for herself. Her life was always about pointing others to Jesus.

So, sweet Jesus, would You tell her for me that I love those big 'ole hands of her's and am hoping these big 'ole hands of mine can live up to her example?!

"Stella...worked with willing hands...with the fruit of her hands Stella planted a vineyard...Stella put her hands to the distaff & Stella's hands held the spindle. Stella opened her hand to the poor and reached out her hands to the needy..Give Stella the fruit of her hands, and let Stella's works praise her in the gates. " Proverbs 31

sidenote: in the margin of my Bible I have written at the end of Proverbs 31,
" 1-6-09 read v. 10-31 to Mama as she lay in the bed at hospice dieing with Daddy, Sandra & Rick beside me...the day before she saw Jesus face to face."
-

Marriage Tip: Respecting Men Who Aren't Perfect by Mark Gungor

Neal & I have listened to some of Mark's DVDs and laughed our heads off! Our all time favorite is when he talk about a husband's "nothing box". We've also learned a few things from him AS we laughed our heads off. His sense of humor is...well humorous to say the least!

Today's post from him is worth posting on my blog because I know it's sooo true! I struggled with this issue and I KNOW you who are wives and reading this have too. Maybe you're still there. Either way, it's a good word not only to read and say, "that was really good", but actually PUT INTO PRACTICE!

Enjoy.

"Most women are willing to show respect to their husbands, but they want the man to act respectable first. They are willing to show respect, but want their men to be worthy of it. If a woman will learn to risk respecting her man when he is not perfect, he will open his heart to her and will become pliable to change. A man needs respect to feel safe enough to open up. When he feels he is being looked up to as the "head" in a relationship, he will automatically allow his wife to become the neck — she will be able to point her man in the right direction! Women generally have no idea how much sway they have over a man. The ancient Jewish proverb says, 'The wise woman builds her house,' but 'a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones.' A wife is either building up or tearing him down her husband. "

A Great Investment

It has really hit me in a fresh way: children (& grands! :-) ) are an investment! I share that because our lives were enriched in a brand, new way on October 10, 2009.

Roman Willis Weddington made his entrance 4 days early, weighing in at 8 lb 1 oz & 20.5" long. I have no problem admitting that I am one smitten Mimi!!! I told Blair today that it feels like I've always known him...i guess that's perhaps in part because some of Roman has Blair in him as well as James, and in some strange way, it does feel like only yesterday that I was delivering her & doing all the things I'm finding myself doing for her baby now.

I am currently living life overseas alongside sweet Roman with his Mommy & Daddy, and it is such a joy & a blessing! Since they live in the faraway region of the Middle East, I am incredibly thankful for even having the ability to be here. Icing on the cake is that I get to travel back to the Y country in a few weeks with them where they live & work. I am anticipating that actually seeing where they've been the last year and a half is going to have a profound affect on me.

As I've helped care for Roman the last week and a half, God has reminded me what "investment" many times looks like...and it's not necessarily things I might think of as an investment because they just look like ordinary, day-in, day-out kind of things.

Diapering, burping & walking during the wee hours of the night are alot of what I've spent my time doing. Of course, I've also kissed on him like crazy, snuggled with him, sung to him, hummed to him, held him, & rocked him....all the things we grandmothers long to do!

Being around a new baby has taken be back to early parenting days. We were sooo young when we started our family, and yet I have NO regrets!! I loved, & I mean reeeeally LOVED being a Mommy of babies. I also loved every other stage of raising them, and yes i even mean middle school too (Neal would say otherwise about himself!).

Once we arrived overseas, and we settled into life with Roman, I found taking care of him came so naturally...even after 23 years. I was kind of surprised, but I guess it's kind of like riding a bike: once you do it, you never forget. As I rocked Roman one day, I confessed to Neal there had been several moments when I realized as it was happening that I was doing & acting & responding exactly the way my Mom did with my babies. I didn't even have to think about it. It was in the way I was expressing myself to Roman, and in the way I was holding him and in the way I was humming hymns to him. I didn't work it up or say to myself, "What should I do

now?" I just did them.

All that to say: Mom, I wish I could tell you in person. So until heaven, I'll blog about it now. Thank you for investing in me, and for investing in my babies. We are all who we are in great part because of you, and I am a Mom & a Mimi who is forever thankful for your humble example of being a woman of investment.